Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 12 USERS: A+

I guess Xander gets as tired of this crap as I do, so he stands up, where he is revealed to be in Giles's courtyard. Xander sees the same unidentifiable shape that Willow did, moving in the courtyard, and runs into Giles's apartment to alert the others. Inside, Giles and Buffy are standing over Willow, who is gasping in a chair. Buffy suggests slapping her as Anya looks on. Willow and Xander don't have a very high opinion of Buffy's patience for Willow, do they? None of the gang spots Xander, who moves swiftly down a hall in Giles's apartment and exits into a crowded hallway in Buffy and Willow's dorm. He hurries along and enters their room. Behind him, something growls, and he turns and rushes into Willow's closet. He pushes his way through the clothes and moves along a dark narrow corridor, very artily lit by light coming in through slatted window shades. He exits the corridor into his basement apartment again. Someone is still pounding at the door, and this time Xander starts to climb the steps. He whispers, "That's not the way out," and suddenly the door is broken open. We can see a male shape silhouetted at the top of the stairs. Xander bows his head, looking defeated. The man starts to yell at Xander, demanding to know why he never comes upstairs. He says Xander's mother is "crying her guts out." Xander replies the man doesn't understand and then looks down. The man grits out, "The line ends here with us and you're not going to change that. You haven't got the heart." Then the man plunges his fist into Xander's chest and rips out his beating heart. Xander stares at the man, who is now an aboriginal-looking person with a painted face. The wild hair tell us that this is the same force that attacked Willow. In the Summers's living room, an unconscious Xander thrashes on the couch. The camera moves in close to the sleeping Giles.

Giles's tweed vest fills the screen. A pocket watch is swinging in front of it. He says, "You have to stop thinking. Let it wash over you." The camera focuses on Buffy, who asks Giles if this isn't "a little old-fashioned." We change to a wide-angled shot and see Buffy sitting in a chair in Giles's living room, which is devoid of furniture. Giles is standing before her, swinging the aforementioned pocket watch. He tells her that "this is the way women and men have behaved since the beginning," and gently orders her to look into the light. The camera focuses on her face as she breaks into a wide grin.

The scene changes and we see an elephant topiary strung with lights. Buffy, Giles, and Olivia come into the shot. Buffy is dragging Giles's arm, urging him to hurry. She's wearing overalls and has her hair in pigtails. I'll bet that's as close as pork ever gets to SMG. They're walking down the graveyard which is done up like a carnival. A very pregnant Olivia, who is also pushing a stroller, asks Giles if Buffy is always this enthusiastic about training. Giles replies, "It would appear that she's never heard of the fable about patience. The one with the fox and the -- less patient fox." Buffy stops in front of a glass coffin and picks up a foam ball to try and hit the "vampire" behind it. She misses by a mile and Giles exasperatedly says, "Buffy, you have a sacred birthright to protect mankind. Don't stick out your elbow." Buffy looks crestfallen but tries again. She hits it this time and looks to Giles for approval, but he tells her that he doesn't have any treats. Some random person hands Buffy a tiny cone of cotton candy. Olivia tells Giles to take it easy on Buffy, but he snappishly replies that this is his job. Giles, noticing the cotton candy, tells Buffy that she's going to get her face all messy, and when she turns towards him she's wearing a mud mask. To make it more special, we get an infrared shot. Giles looks puzzled and says, "I know you." We're interrupted by Spike, who is gesturing excitedly from the entrance to a crypt decorated with garden gnomes. He urges them to hurry up and goes inside.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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