Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 1077 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Things aren't always as they seem

Two vamps knock Buffy and Faith on their backs in a graveyard. They make with the fighting. Giles sits on a stone bench, watching the action somewhat idly. It's fun to watch SMG and ED fight side by side, as they have very different styles. SMG favors tight, quick moves, where ED is flashier and uses a lot of moves that take more time but impart more power. It's also fun to watch them fight each other, as we'll see later. Buffy and Faith eventually herd the vamps toward each other, and simultaneously stake them. They high-five each other on their "synchronized slaying" (hee) and ask Giles what he thought. A sharp female voice cuts through the air: "Sloppy." They turn to look at the speaker, who is a very schoolmarmish-looking Serena Scott Thomas, sister of Kristin. What should I call her? Sistin, for "sister of Kristin"? Nah. Krister, for "Kristin's sister"? Yeah, I think that'll be it. Krister continues, "You telegraph punches, leave blind sides open, and for a school-night slaying, take entirely too much time. Which one of you is Faith?" Faith: "That depends. Who the hell are you?" Krister: "Gwendolyn Post, Mrs. Your new Watcher." No, it's Krister. Learn it, live it, love it. Faith and Buffy look at each other bemusedly, and Giles stares, frozen, Styrofoam cup raised halfway to his mouth. Hee! Credits.

Commercial for the new Psycho. Boy, if only that had really happened to Anne Heche.

The Slayers and Watchers are in the library. Faith is of the opinion that she doesn't need a new Watcher. She says that authority figures in her life have the tendency to "end up kinda dead." So how the hell did we get stuck with Wesley for the last three and a half years? Krister informs her that the decision isn't hers. She then asks Giles where he keeps the rest of the books, the "actual library." He doesn't answer, and she titters to herself. He assures her that he has the finest occult reference collection -- "this side of the Atlantic, I'm sure," she finishes for him. She names a couple of selections, and he mumbles that they're on order. Man, we're five minutes in, and this woman is totally bitch-slapping Giles. After needling him a bit more, Krister announces again that she is to act as Faith's Watcher, and to "report back." Faith bristles again, but Giles stops her and says they'll cooperate. Krister twists the knife further by saying that the Council "wishes [her] to report on the entire situation here, including [Giles]." Buffy: "Academic probation's not so funny today, huh Giles?" He looks at her balefully. Krister continues, "The fact is, there is talk in the Council that you have become a bit too -- American." Giles: "Me?" Buffy: "Him?" Me: "My husband?" Oh, sorry, was that my outside voice? Krister, not giving anyone a chance to breathe, informs them that a demon named Lagos is coming to Sunnydale, and asks Giles for an illustration of Lagos. Giles fumbles about for one, and Krister snarks, "Perhaps later." Man, this woman's good. She's intellectually emasculating Giles, which seems to me to be the equivalent of making The Rock feel physically intimidated. Krister goes on to say that Lagos is seeking the Glove of Mynhegon, a weapon of untold power, and that he must be stopped. Giles asks what she proposes, and she smirks, "Well, if it's not too radical a suggestion, I thought we might kill him." Excuse me a minute. Okay, I'm back. I went back and counted the number of times Krister has bitch-slapped Giles in this episode. So far, the number is six. She says that the glove is believed to be buried in a tomb in Sunnydale, so she suggests that the Slayers search the cemetery. Giles informs her that there are twelve cemeteries within the city limits. She says they'll take them one at a time. "Anything in your books that might pinpoint the exact location of the tomb would be useful, but then, we cannot ask for miracles." Anyone got anything snarkier to say than that? Because I got nothin', except to say that the bitch-slap count is now seven. She says that they'll begin the next evening, and summons Faith to go with her as she leaves. Giles, clearly still a bit shaken: "That was bracing." Buffy: "Interesting lady. Can I kill her?" Giles says no, and asks if she'd like to do some training.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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