Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 1210 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
...With A Vengeance

Sheila comes out of the Bronze, flanked by two guys. She seems to think she's hitting on them, but considering that they're dressed like they're en route to a gay porn shoot, I think she's wasting her time. The fact that their names are apparently "Dwayne" and "Dell" isn't doing much to sway my opinion. She blathers about how they said they have a Cadillac (did they buy it together?) and teenages that she's "crazy about a Cad." Whatever, Rayanne Graff. The camera pans left to block Gay Porn Star #1 out, then pans back to show that he's gone. Sheila smarms, "Where'd you go?" When she looks back, Gay Porn Star #2 is gone as well. No longer amused, she looks around, and bumps into Spike. She asks who he is. "Who do you want me to be?" I can think of a number of possibilities. She asks if he saw -- he cuts in, "Those two losers who thought they were good enough for you?" You can practically hear her melting onto the alley. Unless that was me. She asks what happened to them, and he says they got sleepy. "And you got something a whole lot better." He walks off, and she follows, calling, "Hey! What's your name?" As the camera follows her, we see the two guys lying on the ground, dead or unconscious. They're positioned head-to-toe. Coincidence?

Library. Giles reiterates that Yakula called Spike "Spike," and wonders if he has another name. Several, if you count "Blondie Bear" and "Boo-Boo." More blather about the Night of St. Contrivance. Well, really. I wish they'd just call plot points like this "the Night of St. A Wizard Did It" so I know not to try to figure them out. It would make things so much easier. Willow wonders if they could hide on Saturday, especially if Spike is leading the attack. Giles says he can't be worse than any other creature she's faced. Giles obviously has yet to get Buffy's jinx lecture. On cue, Angel's voice cuts in: "He's worse. Once he starts something, he doesn't stop, until everything in his path is dead." Or laid. Buffy, not one to let a vicious murderer get in the way of her love life, says that she thought Angel said he might show up at the Bronze. Angel counters that she said she wasn't sure she was going. Considering that he was snooping around dumpsters trying to locate her in this last episode, I find this restraint a bit difficult to buy. Buffy says she was being cool. That's a matter of opinion. She opines that at his age, he should know what a girl means when she says "maybe [she'll] show." Really? Because from what I know from my girlfriends, it's equally likely to mean "I wouldn't be any more definite to be there if I were meeting Brad Pitt" or "I'd rather be the middle of a Drew Carey/Louie Anderson sandwich than show up to meet you." So I can't really blame Angel for getting this one wrong. (Oh, and sorry for that image.) Willow muses about the number of dates Angel must have had at his age. Not clear on that one either. Giles, thankfully, brings the conversation back to business. Looking down at a book, he asks Angel if Spike goes by any other names, but when everyone looks in Angel's direction, he's gone already. Jeez, now that you're in the opening credits, could you stick around long enough to give your love interest some useful information, Stealth Guy?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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