Buffy the Vampire Slayer
School Hard

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 9 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
...With A Vengeance

Library. Willow, Miss Calendar, Xander, and Cordelia (who I guess after "Some Assembly Required" is now in the Scooby Gang) do various weapon-related chores. Buffy holds up an extremely large knife, then starts chopping away. The camera pans down to reveal that she's cutting vegetables. Hee. Giles "explains" that the vamps will scourge themselves into a fury, culminating in a savage attack on the Night of St. Contrivance. Whatever. Does that mean our powers are at their height when we work ourselves into a frenzy over poor episodes? Because if so, I'd stay away from Sep for a while. Xander: "Does anybody remember when Saturday night used to be 'date night'?" Cordy: "You sure don't." Hee. Buffy says the parents will be there in an hour, and wonders if she's forgotten anything. Willow: "Punch." I'd suggest not saying ambiguous things like that to a Slayer, dear. Buffy says she's going to check the lounge, and walks out. Xander and Cordy reach for the vegetables. Buffy pops her head back in: "No." Hee.

Lounge. Willow eagerly asks what kind of punch Buffy made. The answer is fresh lemonade. Willow asks how much sugar she used. Buffy: "Sugar?" Willow contorts her face from the tartness. Ha! She manages that it's very good. Buffy says that her mission is to keep her mom and Snyder from crossing paths. On cue, Joyce appears, and asks Buffy if she handled the preparations. Buffy acknowledges that, and offers her mom some lemonade. Next to her, Willow surreptitiously shakes her head. Hee. Luckily, Snyder catches sight of this little scene. Buffy says that she has to stay and hostess, but that Willow can show Joyce the library. However, they remember what's going on in there, and decide on French class instead. Bonne idée. Pas. Willow hurries Joyce away just in time to avoid Snyder. He asks Buffy if that was her mother. Buffy says yes, but that she wouldn't have said much, as "she doesn't speak a word of English." Good cover, Harriet the Spy. Snyder stomps off.

We get a look at the clock, which reads 6:15, then fades ahead to 8:45. The lounge is full of people. Cordy comes out and bitches to Buffy about being on weapons detail, then makes a snide comment about Buffy's complexion. They catch sight of Joyce, and Cordy notes that she knows how to moisturize. "Did it, like, skip a generation?" I feel like there's a joke in there about Gen X Charisma Carpenter playing Gen Y Cordy, but I'm too tired to think of it. Joyce and Willow join them, and Joyce says that she's been to every classroom, but all of Buffy's teachers had mysteriously stepped out. Nice job, Willow. Snyder comes into view, and Buffy babbles that Joyce hasn't seen the boiler room yet. Well, say hi to Jordan Catalano for me. Snyder accosts them, and rudely tells Joyce that they need to talk. With a wary look at Buffy, Joyce follows Snyder. Cordy snickers that Buffy will still be grounded at her tenth high school reunion. Willow: "Cordelia! Have some lemonade!" Cordy goes to try it. Ha! Come back to the five and dime, Old Willow, Old Willow!

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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