Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Selfless

Episode Report Card
Ace: B- | 3 USERS: A-
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Vengeance! Plague! Death! Confusion!

Back to our sepia and scratchy Swedish village. "Troll!" shouts a villager as his neighbors run about in a panic. Wow, Sweden in the 880s looks a lot like southern California live oak territory. The camera follows a group of villagers as they run away shouting, "Hide your babies and your beadwork!" Cue Olaf, now rendered all green and trolly by a spell of Aud's. Olaf the Troll tries to explain who he is, but the villagers think that "the troll is doing an Olaf impersonation." Hee. These Sjornjost scenes make me giggle with their sheer silliness. The villagers are armed with pitchforks and various farm implements, but for sheer silly value, they decide to "hit [Olaf] with fruits and various meats." Much racing about amongst the live oaks. Aud watches from a distance. She looks very pretty in that brunette wig. The camera swings around to her face, and we fade out of the sepia tone and into regular color film stock. D'Hoffryn walks up beside Aud, who doesn't seem at all surprised to see him. Maybe demon/human relations were a little more friendly in 880. D'Hoffryn compliments Aud's work, and she converses with him about how she cast the spell. Poor Aud seems so very empty and remote in this scene -- not at all animated like she was earlier. The villagers flee from Olaf in the background. D'Hoffryn introduced himself, and Aud replies, "I am Aud." Hee. That's a funny pun. You know that saying that goes, "Puns are the lowest form of humor"? That always confused me. I mean, I wondered who decided that, and what the highest form of humor was, and why the phrase always seemed to be uttered only by the very humorless, who wouldn't seem qualified to judge. Anyway, this is 2002, and the saying is obviously obsolete. It comes from an older era. An era before the fart joke. Fart jokes are quite clearly the lowest form of humor, and I suggest that we petition the correct powers that be to have the saying updated for modern times. ["The lowest, and yet consistently the most reliable. Hee. Farts." -- Sars] "Are you?" chuckles D'Hoffryn. He tells her that her true identity is "Anyanka," and explains that he represents a "family of sorts" made up of vengeance demons. Anyanka/Aud says she's never heard of them; she "doesn't talk to people much," because they seem to find her literal interpretations irksome. "Come here, tiny man," shouts Olaf as he pursues a townsperson. "You are small and toy-like!" Anyanka/Aud and D'Hoffryn ignore the fuss. D'Hoffryn tries to seal the deal by telling Anyanka/Aud that her job with him would be to "help wronged women punish evil men." Anyanka/Aud muses, "Vengeance…" "But only to those who deserve it," amends D'Hoffryn. Anyanka/Aud: "They all deserve it." D'Hoffryn, casually: "That's where I was going with that, yeah."

Buffy sits in her cubicle at Sunnydale High, balancing a pencil cup on her forehead. Wonder what her Franklin Covey day planner looked like this morning? 10:00 AM -- surf internet. 10:45 AM -- long bathroom break (fiddle with hair). 11:00 AM -- build tiny sculptures from paperclips. 11:15 AM -- be bitchy to vampire in basement. 11:45 AM -- improve desk tchotchke balancing skills. Her phone rings, startling her, and of course the pencils and cup fall to the ground, because this week Buffy's super-fast Slayer reflexes are less important than a cheap sight gag. It's Willow on the other end of the line, breaking the news that she's encountered something strange and violent on the UC Sunnydale campus. Buffy grabs a pen to write down info. I sure hope she doesn't leave notes like that lying around the office. Buffy says she'll get Xander to go after the ToH with her, and then Willow seems to tell her about the manner of death. "Ripped out the heart? My god," says Buffy, shocked, but then inquires immediately afterwards, "Hey, did you get that physics class you wanted?" Strange girl.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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