Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Shadow

Episode Report Card
Sep: D | 2 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Without a shadow of a doubt

The phone at the Magic Box rings. It's Buffy calling from the hospital, which they now identify as "Sunnydale Memorial" just to show me up. Buffy tells Giles that she got her ass kicked but good, and to be on the lookout for a gargantuan novelty snake. She also remarks that Dawn will be coming to the Magic Box soon after school. Even though she mentions that it's already 4:30, and Sunnydale can't possibly be so big that it would take ninety minutes to walk downtown, nobody seems worried that Dawn isn't already there. Plus, if you know that your little sister is being sought by some unspeakable evil that has kicked your super-power-having ass on two consecutive occasions, would do you really let said little sister walk around Sunnydale alone? You know, Sunnydale. Home to vampires, zombies, and demons, oh my!

Oh cool. Musical montage. I love these. No pesky dialogue. Buffy waits at the hospital; Dawn waits at the Magic Box. Riley drinks. Sandy sits down beside Riley, who gives her an appraising look. At the hospital, Joyce is awake now. Buffy sits beside her on the bed as Dr. Doom 'n ' Gloom gives her the news. Joyce lays her head back on the bed and turns to the side so Buffy can't see her face contort in pain, and then she turns to Buffy and tries to smile and, oh shit, I'm crying. Okay. Must be strong. So then Sandy leads Riley back against a wall somewhere...else and kisses him. And then she vamps out and Riley offers up his neck and she's draining Riley and then, oh shit, I'm cheering. And then I have this horrible thought that she's going to vamp Riley and he'll be around FOREVER. But then he pulls her off roughly and she disappears into a big pile of dust because Riley has staked her. Which just goes to show us that Riley is fucked up on so many levels.

Fake the Snake approaches the carousel and looks around some. Shouldn't he be flicking the air with his tongue more? Isn't that how snakes smell? Of course I don't know why I'm expecting realism here. Just look at him.

Pan up on the Magic Box. Buffy enters, and Dawn immediately springs from her chair to envelop her in a hug. Dawn wants to know if they can take Joyce home yet, and Buffy says, "We'll see." While Dawn is collecting her things, Fake the Snake bursts through the window and knocks a bunch of shelves onto Buffy. Fake goes right up to Dawn, who screams hugely, and contemplates her for a moment before rushing out the window again. Xander immediately checks on Dawn, and Buffy takes off out the door. Fake the Snake worms its way down the street. Buffy takes off in pursuit to prevent the snake from returning to Glory. While Buffy is running, Giles comes screeching around the corner in his new car. At this point I yell, "Go, Giles! Go!" while pumping my fist like I'm stuck in 1991. This catches the attention of my mom, who is in the kitchen preparing yummy vegetables for Thanksgiving dinner.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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