Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Showtime

Episode Report Card
Sep: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Showtime

Anya and Giles are talking to a tall demon with a killer mullet who's emptying a trash can in an alley. Torg refuses to help Anya out, because three lifetimes ago (when she was Anyanka) she broke his heart. Anya protests that he doesn't even have a heart, but Torg insists that the "night [they] spent together was important to [him]." Giles, the new boyfriend, attempts to look patient. Anya dismisses the night with Torg as a drunken mistake, and he reminisces, "I remember. You wore pink." Anya snaps back, "Those were entrails." Hee. Giles is uncomfortable with this conversation, though, and asks if it would be possible to skip the nostalgia. Aw, he's cute when he's jealous. He's not going to be spared, though. Anya tells Torg that if he opens the portal to Botox's Eye, she'll "have sex with [him] again." Giles gives Torg a very funny, "And?" look, but Torg is disgusted at Anya's current human status. "I wouldn't touch you now for all the kittens in Korea," he protests. Hee. Kittens. Anya is crushed, and addresses Giles: "What am I? A leper in this town? I can't even give it away." Giles shrugs nonchalantly. Torg tells Anya, "Come back when you are a leper," and prepares to leave, but Giles stops him with a threat that if he doesn't help, Buffy will kill his customers and burn his business to the ground. Anya gives Torg a "take that!" look. Torg drops his trash can and appears to threaten Giles with his spiky fist. Actually, he's just preparing to open the portal to the Eye of Botox. A brief chant later, Giles and Anya have their gateway. As they head towards it, Anya fusses that her hair must the problem. They enter the gateway and end up in a totally dark, windy void. It's completely black, but Giles and Anya are still somehow lit with a bright spot. That's the magic of Hollywood, kids. They stumble forward and encounter -- well, maybe it looked good on paper? Because on-screen, this thing is jaw-droppingly cheesy. It's a mass of eyeballs and flesh, contained in a cage that's anchored to the, uh, void by three long chains. It looks like nothing so much as some sort of crazy demon tetherball game.

Back at the Summers place, Willow answers the phone. It's the British coven on the other end with a message. In light of subsequent events, couldn't they have contacted Willow telepathically and saved their cell phone minutes? Buffy and Xander untie Andrew, because he's stinky and they don't have time to "baby-sit" him. I don't get that. Everything I remember from my babysitting days taught me that the little tykes are much easier to manage when they're tied up. Plus they look so cute when they fall asleep with the ropes half-gnawed away. Since "pouting" seems to be the theme of this episode (alongside "whining"), Andrew pouts at the implication that he might be a little whiffy. Buffy actually manages to communicate with Andrew by implying that if he's at all naughty, she'll reenact scenes from Misery on his legs. Andrew swallows nervously and promises to be "good." La la la exposition. Willow coughs up a particularly large chunk, telling Buffy and Xander that a Junior Miss is holed up in town at the Sunspot Motel, but the Coven only just found out because her Watcher was killed before he could notify anyone of their arrival. Buffy and Xander leave to fetch the Motel Miss. Then Dawn comes into the room, and Willow tells her that a new Miss has arrived, and it's good because they "need all the help" they can get. Dawn steps all over my lines by saying that the Junior Misses hardly count as help at all.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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