Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Some Assembly Required

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 5 USERS: B-
...Lots Of Screaming Optional

Basement, later. Buffy and Chris come down the stairs to find that Daryl is gone. They quickly figure out that Daryl is going after Cordelia himself, and leave.

Cut to the game. Cordy and company do their thing as the game plays out. Miss Calendar goes off on a very pretentious analysis of various American sports, as she and Giles walk to their seats, concluding that football is such a "rugged" contest. Giles chuckles and says he finds it odd that "a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby." Hee. He looks so pleased to have gotten off a snap this episode. Miss Calendar: "Is this your normal strategy for a first date? Dissing my country's national pastime?" Okay, first off, before Sars blows an artery in her temple, our national pastime is baseball. Also, "dissing"? Shut up, Miss Calendar.

Giles starts to backtrack, but then notices that she used the word "date." She cutely cops to it. Aw. Willow and Xander appear and inform them that Eric's was a bust, Xander adding that the only thing of note was "a pornography collection so prodigious it even scared me." Again, what more is there to say, really? Giles tries none too subtly to get them to go away, but they don't take the hint, and sit down. Giles sulks, but Miss Calendar is gracious enough to smile.

Under the bleachers, Daryl skulks. He peeks through, and sees the game. The Tinkly Piano Of I Once Was A Football Star, But Now I'm Sort Of Dead plays. Daryl's lip quivers. Aw, Frankenstein has feelings. Wait, I already knew that, since I've read books and all. He spots Cordy coming off the field, and moves. Cordy comes under the bleachers and draws a cup of water out of a cooler, but Daryl grabs her just as a convenient cheer goes up from the crowd. Soon after, Buffy and Chris show up, and realize that Cordy's not on the field.

In the lab, Cordy's blindfolded and tied to a gurney. She begs them to take off the blindfold, promising she won't scream. Saying her name, Daryl takes off the blindfold. Of course she screams, but the fact that she does it so loudly that cats in the next county run for cover makes me giggle. Eric tells her to scream all she wants, but reverses that opinion after another avalanche-causer and threatens to knock her out. Daryl apologizes for never noticing her before, which causes her to focus and recognize him. Eric says that they're ready, and leers that Cordy will feel a pinch around the neck area, but when she wakes up, she'll have the body of "several" seventeen-year-olds. He lifts up the sheet so Cordy can see her Bride body, which elicits another ear-splitter. Hee.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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