Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Some Assembly Required

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 5 USERS: B-
...Lots Of Screaming Optional

Speaking of vampires, the vamp that Buffy was awaiting has now risen and is coming at them. Buffy tells Angel that she didn't come to fight, but the vampire knocks her and Angel down, and she revises that sentiment. She kicks the vamp to the ground, then looks for her stake, which she managed to drop. While she does, the vamp picks up a handy shovel and clocks Angel in the face with it. Hee. Champion, my ass. After a bit of shovel-fu, Buffy manages to get the weapon away and stake him with it. Even the metal part of the shovel vaporizes. Huh? I wish they'd be remotely consistent about that -- we've seen vamps combust right next to people who have suffered nary a burn. Buffy, however, doesn't pay this any mind as she continues the spat, asking if Angel considers her a kid too. Faced with a question that makes sense, Angel does the mature, champion-like thing: he walks away. Buffy starts after him with this missive: "This is an obvious lead-up for a cheap sight gag!" Oh, sorry, that was just my notes. She actually melodramas something about it taking more than that to get rid of her. Anyway, she falls into an open grave. Angel comes back and asks her if she's okay, which she grumpily affirms. He muses that another vampire has risen tonight. Well, except for the fact that the dirt has been neatly excavated from the plot. We've seen numerous vampires rise on this show, and they've all simply pushed their way up out of the ground. A fact that Angel might be aware of, considering he's a vampire himself. Also, he got bashed in the face with the very shovel that was used to unearth the plot. Dolt. Not the Dolt, of course. Buffy, poking her head out of the grave, calls his attention to some tracks, and says that whoever was in this grave was dragged away. Dun dun dun! Or, yawn. I raise my head wearily from my keyboard to rasp, "Scene!" Credits.

Buffy and Xander enter the library to find Giles sitting in a chair, his back to them. As they walk in, it becomes apparent that he's rehearsing a speech with which to ask Miss Calendar out on a date. While the sentiment is cute, I hate to see the writers reverting to the Season One habit of using Giles for cheap comic relief. And the fact that he's doing such a bad job with the rehearsal that he feels the need to impotently call himself an idiot makes it worse. Buffy snarks about his relationship with the chair, then tells Giles to leave off the "idiot" part, as most people don't like being called that. Xander: "It actually kinda turns me on." Buffy: "I fear you." Hee. And Xander, nice try at getting me to stop calling you an idiot. She gives Giles advice on how to dumb down his pitch, to which he snarks, "Well thank you, Cyrano." Heh. She goes on that she's not finished, and that the hook is to ask her how she feels about Mexican. Uh, they're in a small town in California. I'd think anyone who doesn't like Mexican food might have some serious problems getting by. Anyway, Buffy and Xander tag-team poor Giles until he wisely decides to change the subject by asking Buffy about the previous night's patrol. She relates what happened, and Giles thinks the grave robbing is interesting. Buffy: "I know you meant to say 'gross and disturbing.'" Giles: "Yes, yes yes of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it...dammit." As Sep can attest, that's the standard response to any customer service-oriented complaint in the U.K. Luckily, my boyfriend is an expert at making customer service reps cry. Xander wonders why anyone would take a corpse. Giles says it might help to know who the corpse was, but Buffy has that info: Meredith Todd, who was her age. Xander draws a blank. I know she didn't go to Sunnydale High, but as we soon learn that Meredith was a cheerleader, I'm still surprised he doesn't know her name, as I'd think if anyone would be familiar with every cheerleader in a ten-mile radius, it would be Xander. Not to say they would be familiar with him, except in a "there's that dorky stalker again" way. Giles, looking distastefully at the computer (and I know the feeling, because mine's being a serious diva right now) suggests that Willow could "fire this thing up" and get some information on Meredith.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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