Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Some Assembly Required

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 5 USERS: B-
...Lots Of Screaming Optional

Library. Willow, on the computer, says that she's probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office on her "favorites" list. I wouldn't be surprised to learn she's mistaken. Cordy breezes in, snarkily apologizing for interrupting their "undead play group," and says she needs to ask Willow for help with her science project. Willow: "It's a fruit." Heh. And really, what more needs to be said? Cordy goes on that she would have asked Chris, but that would have brought back too many memories of "Daryl," her voice breaking at the end of the sentence. Everyone ignores her as Willow finds an article about Meredith Todd's death, saying that she and two other cheerleaders were killed in a car accident the week before. Cordelia, to no one: "Of course, I have learned to deal with my pain." Willow goes on that the girls' necks were broken, so they couldn't be vampires. Cordy, having taken a surprisingly long time to realize that no one's paying her any mind, whinges, "Hello! Can we deal with my pain, please?" Giles, having just come out of his office, pats her on the shoulder, says, "There, there," and walks off. Ha! Willow exposits a little more, and Buffy announces that this confirms that Meredith wasn't killed by a vampire, like, thank you very much, we know the process for siring someone. Of course, it wouldn't hurt the writers to brush up on it every now and again. The Scoobs wonder who would have wanted the body. Giles suggests that it could be a voodoo practitioner trying to make a zombie (not the drink, although that's a lovely idea), and that for ritualistic purposes he would need to make more than one. Buffy suggests investigating whether the corpses of the other two accident victims are missing. I'd like to take this opportunity to point out a teeny tiny flaw in this plot. So they start looking for other missing corpses because they think it's a voodoo person. Fine. Except, as we soon learn, it's not -- it's just two geeky boys. So why the need for the multiple bodies? I understand about the head, but it's never explained why they couldn't have taken one girl's body and grafted a head onto it. Perhaps we're to infer that the girls were so smashed up that it took three of them to get enough working parts. Great. Not only did I gross myself out with that fanwank, but I also ruined the joke I was going to tell. I really need to stop hanging out on the boards. And to top things off, I'm only ten minutes into the episode. Okay. Settle down. Attune.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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