Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: B- | 1959 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Put that in your pantheon

Willow's voice breaks in, saying, "I think we're getting a little off track here." Oops, sorry, Willow. And I'm sure Andrew is sorry too. Cut to Casa Summers, where Willow is holding some sort of glowing crystal with a light inside it, which is a charm to aid Andrew's memory. Although I'm not really sure that a salt-crystal lamp you can get at the Nature Company for $59.95 makes an effective magic prop. Buffy, impatient with Andrew's dithering, wants to know how he knew where the Seal was and what to do with it. Is she just now getting around to asking about this? That's some sloppy research. Andrew tries to claim that he's a "detached journalist" who doesn't participate in the story but merely records it. After Buffy threatens to break his camera over his head, Willow admonishes Andrew to "stop going off-topic." And suddenly, for a second, I identify with Willow like I used to in past seasons! Andrew replies that everything is going to seem a lot more topical in just a moment when Jonathan goes to take a whiz.

Back in Mehico. Tiny And Soon To Be Dead Jonathan trundles out of bed and heads to the bathroom. As soon as he's gone, Andrew starts singing "La Cucaracha," which, considering the place they're staying, might be an ode to some of the other entities sharing that bed with him and Jonathan. Andrew rolls over to find the specter of Warren looming over him. Andrew is glad to see Warren, and the dialogue lets us know that this isn't their first meeting since Warren's death by extreme exfoliation. Warren tells Andrew he looks good, which causes a bout of simpering and hair smoothing from Andrew. Warren then asks if Andrew got the knife. Andrew prattles on about the demon he had to meet with as he picks up a box. Warren warns him to hurry before the Small One is done, but Andrew says that because of Jonathan's "shy bladder" they don't need to worry about being disturbed. Neither do they worry about being overheard either, despite the fact that Andrew calls out to Jonathan in the speaking tone he's been using and Jonathan is able to hear him just fine. Andrew tells Warren that he doesn't think he's going to be able to stab Jonathan, partly because Jonathan's been a good friend and because "he said" he'd buy Andrew a burro. Except the first time I watched the scene, I thought Tom Lenk said, "Jonathan has been a good friend to me here in Mehico. His head will buy me a burro," which I found really creepy. I mean, a black market in human heads fueled by burro trade? Almost too nightmarish to contemplate. Warren replies that killing Jonathan is just "part of the plan," and if Andrew plays along, they'll "all eventually be rewarded." "We'll live as gods," ventures Andrew. Quick flash to an Andrew Fantasy Sequence wherein the toga-clad trio dance and strum harps in a field of bright flowers. Andrew falsettos, "We are as gods!" and pirouettes prettily, sniffing a large red poppy. The fantasy also features unicorns and piles of gold bricks, but no dancing schnauzers. I can't decide if that's a good thing or not. Warren reiterates that "there's power in that knife. Drive the words deep into him -- that's the only way to get our reward."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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