Andrew promises to take his viewing audience back into the kitchen when Buffy is done, but until then, he's going to tell the camera a little about himself. He describes himself as "a man with a burden, a man with a dark past." Yes indeedy, Andrew's confession that he was "once a super-villain" flings us right into a full-blown Andrew Fantasy Sequence. He's all snazzy in a suit and tie as he dictates super-genius chemistry gobbledygook to his fawning minions, Jonathan and Warren. Funny, but I never figured that Andrew's fantasies about Warren would feature that much clothing. Clenching his fists all super-villain style, Andrew declares that his evil plan will make Buffy "super-magnetic." Jonathan and Warren are impressed, postulating that knives and other sharp objects will fly at Buffy. "We could walk right by her and she wouldn't be able to stop us," gloats Andrew, but Warren sees a kink in the plans, namely that the Trio's metal belt buckles might cause an involuntary attraction to the Slayer. In a tone of great portent, Andrew explains, "In my plan, we are beltless!" Snerf. As Warren moons that Andrew is "good-looking and smart too," Andrew smugly raises an evil genius eyebrow.
Back to the Nerd Cam in the dining room, wherein Andrew chuckles a little and says, "Wasn't Jonathan just the cutest thing?" Uh, creepy. He pauses a little and points the camera back to the kitchen, where Buffy is still haranguing the troops. Willow and Kennedy canoodle while trying to look like they're listening to Buffy. Andrew recaps how Kennedy freaked out over seeing a real display of Willow's powers in last week's episode, and notes that he too has had an encounter with Dark Willow. Ooof, segue into another Andrew Fantasy Sequence and me getting a little cranky because I think limiting ourselves to only one of those per scene would be easier on the recapping skills. So anyway, we flash back to the Magic Box in "Two To Go" when Cruella D'Will turned up to make nerd flambé, except this time, instead of Anya doing the protection spell, Andrew is easily facing Willow down with his own magic. New scenes of Andrew and Jonathan are intercut with the actual footage of Willow from last season, to very silly effect since the sightlines don't match up at all. The Andrew Fantasy Sequence over, we're back to the dining room, where Andrew muses that Cruella D'Will was "something." Fill in your own Dark Willow joke here. I think I used up all of mine last season. Buffy has finally stopped talking, so Andrew heads back into the kitchen, saying, "Let's see what the little locusts left for breakfast, shall we?" Oh, man. I really did hate this episode the first time through, especially after the white board scene, but on this run-through I seem to be softening up. It must be sweeps-induced exhaustion or something. But I just had this flash of compassion for Andrew talking to the camera like it's a real person -- a friend. The only one he has after, you know, killing his other one. And as I contemplated that unfamiliar feeling of compassion (when related to this show), I started musing on Andrew's outsider status, observing the Scooby gang and only getting to participate in their activities through fantasy and the removed medium of the camera. And then, yes, then I even started to admire his cheerful attitude, even if it is won through hard and willful avoidance of reality. But shh -- don't tell anyone, or they'll make me turn in my Jaded Recapper card and then Sars'll break my sword of snark over her knee and throw me out of TWoP Towers. ["Girl, please. Sars herself, weakened by a previous sweeps period, began loving Andrew back in the fall. Now pass the Sweet 'n' Low." -- Sars] And where was I? Oh, right -- Andrew heads into the kitchen and I pray for a scene break or a commercial.