Another county heard from: Spike starts to make fun of Giles's "nancy-boy accent," and Englishmen in general when he suddenly hears himself speaking and realizes, "Sodding. Blimey. Shagging. Knickers. Bollocks. Oh god, I'm English." To which Giles dryly replies, "Welcome to the nancy tribe." Spike frets that he and Giles might be related, and it's decided -- partly due to what Anya calls a "ruggedly handsome resemblance" and Giles's "feeling of familiarity and disappointment" in Spike -- that they must be father and son. This being the Jossverse, Spike decides, upon very little evidence, that he must hate his father, and then jibes Giles for being with Anya, a much younger woman. Anya discovers her engagement ring, however, and assures Giles that they're engaged. This prompts a melting grin from Giles, and I realize how infrequently I've seen him with an expression like that. Poor Giles -- it's been a hard six years with very few reasons for all-out grins. No wonder he wants to go home.
Willow realizes that they should all be carrying identification and each of them scrambles to find his or her wallet. Strange sort of spell. They don't know who they are or what they've been through, but they do retain details of everyday living. Xander reads off his name as "Alexander Harris," and does a cute little wiggle at finding that he "exists." Willow mocks her first name (Tara shyly says it's pretty) and the two witches posit they might be friends from UC Sunnydale. Still standing together, neither Buffy nor Dawn is carrying any sort of ID. However, Buffy notices that Dawn is wearing a necklace that says "Dawn." I so don't get that whole fad. I mean, wearing a necklace with your own name? It's like you're a dog or something -- you might get lost and people will need to know what to call you. Dawn looks at the necklace upside down and jokes that she could be named "Umad." Giles finds his name, "Rupert Giles." Spike pats the pockets of his suit and comes up empty-handed. He does find a label in the suit, though, that reads, "Made with care for Randy"; he goes into a little rant about having been named "Randy Giles." "Why not just call me 'Horny Giles' or 'Desperate for a Shag Giles'?" Hee.
Willow then notices that there's also a name on her jacket -- "Harris" -- which leads her and "Alex" to conclude they might be a couple. Anya finally finds her name, "Enya," and also discovers that she and "Rupert" own the shop together. Rupert grins about how "progressive" he is to own a magic shop. All this fun with names has Buffy feeling left out; Dawn offers to name her, but Buffy declines. She thoughtfully says she names herself "Joan." I was wondering what she would say, and never in a million years would I have guessed "Joan." Dawn isn't much impressed, and she and "Joan" bicker about whether Joan is a crappy name. Dawn says it's Joan's "purgative" to give herself a lame name; when Joan corrects her, "'Prerogative,'" they have a giggly realization they must be sisters. They hug and I "awww" because I'm a sucker for the sister stuff. "Randy" grouses that Rupert never showed him affection like that, "I'll wager," and Giles looks annoyed. A little message from Joss scrolls across the bottom of the screen, "If you take one thing away from watching my show, please let it be that dads are bad!" Joan decides that the group needs "help," and Randy snides, "Looks like Joan fancies herself the boss!" After some discussion, they all decide to go to the hospital. Do they even remember where it is? They head for the front door of the shop, as Randy needles Rupert that he mostly likely owns some sort of "mid-life crisis transport." Joan opens the front door and finds two angry vampires who start to move toward them. There's an incredibly amusing shot of the whole gang screaming their fool heads off. Joan slams the door in the vampires' faces and the terrified gang races away from the door.