Willow then notices that there's also a name on her jacket -- "Harris" -- which leads her and "Alex" to conclude they might be a couple. Anya finally finds her name, "Enya," and also discovers that she and "Rupert" own the shop together. Rupert grins about how "progressive" he is to own a magic shop. All this fun with names has Buffy feeling left out; Dawn offers to name her, but Buffy declines. She thoughtfully says she names herself "Joan." I was wondering what she would say, and never in a million years would I have guessed "Joan." Dawn isn't much impressed, and she and "Joan" bicker about whether Joan is a crappy name. Dawn says it's Joan's "purgative" to give herself a lame name; when Joan corrects her, "'Prerogative,'" they have a giggly realization they must be sisters. They hug and I "awww" because I'm a sucker for the sister stuff. "Randy" grouses that Rupert never showed him affection like that, "I'll wager," and Giles looks annoyed. A little message from Joss scrolls across the bottom of the screen, "If you take one thing away from watching my show, please let it be that dads are bad!" Joan decides that the group needs "help," and Randy snides, "Looks like Joan fancies herself the boss!" After some discussion, they all decide to go to the hospital. Do they even remember where it is? They head for the front door of the shop, as Randy needles Rupert that he mostly likely owns some sort of "mid-life crisis transport." Joan opens the front door and finds two angry vampires who start to move toward them. There's an incredibly amusing shot of the whole gang screaming their fool heads off. Joan slams the door in the vampires' faces and the terrified gang races away from the door.
The gang takes cover -- not in the back of the shop, but almost directly underneath the front windows. I don't think they even locked the door, which just proves that stupid goes straight to the bone. Everyone is incredulous at the realization that vampires do exist. Willow and Alex go to secure any other entrances as the rest of the gang strategizes. One of the vampires raps insistently on the glass, calling, "Send out Spike." The gang misunderstands, thinking that they want spikes; a lightbulb goes off over Randy's head. He quickly goes to grab some "spikes" (actually stakes) that he saw earlier. The gang picks them up and "Umad" quizzically wonders what the vamps plan to do with them. They overhear the vamps calling for the Slayer, but misinterpret it as, "Slay her." Joan is appalled that they're going to use the spikes "to slay someone." "A female someone. Who do those jerks think they are?" huffs Joan. "Bloodsuckers. They kill by sucking blood. Take it easy, Joan," says "Enya." Heh.