Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Teacher's Pet

Episode Report Card
Sars: C | 8 USERS: C-
A Bug's Life

FINALLY, Buffy offs the She-Mantis. Everyone gathers at the foot of the stairs for the post-mortem, Giles commenting that he'd say "it's deceased." "And dissected," Willow grumbles. Xander asks if Buffy's okay and says, "Just for the record, you were right, I'm an idiot, and God bless you." Just make a macro of that sentence, Harris. You'll need it. Xander then thanks the rest of the gang. Willow crushes that she's glad Xander's safe, and "it's so unfair how she only went after virgins." Aaaaand here's that jackass from the first act, folks, goin' off in the third -- there's much chuckling as Xander and Blayne both try to deny their virginity, but Giles shuts them down, explaining that "that's the She-Mantis's modus operandi -- she only preys on the pure." Xander gloats; Blayne threatens to sue them if they tell anyone that he's a virgin, because his dad's a lawyer. "Blayne? Shut up!" Xander snorts. Seriously. "I don't think it's bad," Willow burbles. "I think it's really" -- Xander picks up Buffy's cutlass -- "sweet, but certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again," and she shrinks away from Xander. Okay, small "hee" there. Xander walks over to the egg sacs and starts whaling on them as a metal riff kicks up on the soundtrack.

The Bronze. Buffy broods over coffee until Angel, not about to let anyone else wear the brooding tiara, makes another appearance. He leers at her before saying he heard a rumor that "there's one less vampire walking around making a nuisance of himself." Way to leave me open, Angel. Buffy confirms it, and thanks him for the tip. It's his pleasure. Buffy flirts that it would make things easier if she knew how to reach him. "I'll be around," he smarms. "Or who you were," she adds pointedly. He just smirks and starts to leave, but in an effort to get him to stay, she says he can have his jacket back. "It looks better on you," he smolders, and heads out of the club, but not without shooting her the furry eyeball over his shoulder on the way. Buffy snaps her mouth shut, then says to herself, "Oh boy." Yeah, no kidding.

Bio classroom. END, dammit! The new teacher drones on about term papers as Buffy looks wistful. The bell rings, and she gathers her stuff, but on the way out of the room, she spots Dr. Gregory's broken glasses, tucks them into his coat that still hangs on the closet door, and closes the closet. Focus pull to half a dozen disturbingly testicular-looking egg sacs hanging beneath a shelf. One of them cracks cinematically open, and we go to closing credits.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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