Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Teacher's Pet

Episode Report Card
Sars: C | 8 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
A Bug's Life

Xander barges up to the girls, crooning, "Baaaabes!" Buffy's like, "The hell?" "Work with me here," he grumbles. "Blayne had the nerve to question my manliness. I'm just gonna give him a visual." Willow sees an opening, snorting, "We'll show him," and she clutches at Xander, who then turns to Blayne and Friend and gives them a thumbs-up. Good one, Xander! Oh, except not really. Buffy's with me, muttering, "I don't believe this," and Xander says, "I know! And after all my conquests," but Buffy just walks off. Cut over to Angel "Broody Mc" Glumigan by the stairs, where he's chowing Pop Rocks and giggling like a schoolgirl. No, of course not. He's brooding. Xander wants to know what's up with that broody guy, and Willow says she thinks that's Angel, and Xander grouses that "he's buff" and Buffy never said anything about Angel's buffness, and Willow skeptically asks, "You think he's buff?" and Xander snaps, "He's a very attractive man," like, thank you, very convincing, Mr. Boreanaz's people will mail you a check, now let's move it along. Anyway, more crabbing from Xander about Buffy never mentioning that Angel is hot.

Buffy. Angel. Banter. Buffy: "I like you, so I'll say some mean crap." Angel: "[Scowl.]" Buffy: "Blah blah cryptic blah blah disappear into the night blah blah blah fishcakes." Angel says she's cold. "You can take it," Buffy snips. No, no, he means she looks cold. He takes off his jacket and drapes it around her. Cut back to Xander, who quite rightly cracks on that move: "It's a balmy night! No one needs to be trading clothing out there! And what's with the wifebeater?" I said that last part, actually. Buffy remarks that the jacket's a bit big on her before noticing a wound on Angel's arm. Concerned, she asks what happened; he enigmas that he didn't pay attention. "To somebody with a big fork?" Heh. Angel ignores that jibe to tell her, "He's coming." Buffy, amused: "The fork guy." "Don't let him corner you...don't give him...a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out." Chill, homes. She's the Slayer. She knows what to do. Also, stop stealing your lines from Trek fan fic; it's unseemly. Buffy doesn't take the warning seriously, saying it's "a strong visual" and not as mysterious as his usual cautions, but Angel, shocking a nation, doesn't see the humor, says he has to go, and bolts. "Sweet dreams to you too," Buffy pouts. Behind her, the bouncer has a blue skull-and-crossbones long-sleeved t-shirt on that I want badly to own for myself.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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