Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Teacher's Pet

Episode Report Card
Sars: C | 7 USERS: D+
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A Bug's Life

Anyway, blah blah blah, Miss F asks for help making "model egg sacs" (ew) for the science fair after school, and every male in the class raises his hand. Buffy looks perturbed.

Lunch line. Tired joking about Hot-Dog Surprise; weak posturing by Xander regarding what Miss French sees in him and the older woman/younger man thing. Buffy busts on him for his desperation, then implies that Miss French has Had Some Work Done. Xander defends himself, if you can call it that. Cue Blayne cutting into the lunch line to hassle Xander about how Blayne gets a private tutoring session with Miss French before Xander does, like, we GET IT, okay? So, Blayne "natural selection" blah, Xander "rehearsal" blah, Buffy whatever, and then Buffy almost collides with Cordelia "Giving" Chase, who's barging through to retrieve her "medically prescribed lunch." Oh, all right. Hee. Cordy breezes past the lunch lady, snarking the whole time, and whips open a freezer door to find Dr. Gregory's headless body stashed inside. She screams and babbles "where's his head, where's his head" repeatedly, and the other three dash over to take a look. Cut to a freezer-cam shot lasting approximately a year and a half in which Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Cordy mug and look sickened at the sight, followed by a shot of Dr. Gregory's name stitched on his lab coat.

In the library, Giles pours a glass of water for a shell-shocked Buffy and tells her to "drink this." "No thank you," she monotones, and starts drinking it. Heh. Xander babbles a bit about how he's never seen anything like that. Willow asks who would want to hurt Dr. Gregory, and Giles says that Dr. G didn't have any enemies on the staff: "I liked him." Aw. "So did I," Buffy says, glycerin streaking one side of her face. Willow says they'll find who did it and stop them, and Buffy says grimly, "Count on it." Giles asks for a rundown, and Buffy says Dr. G got killed on campus, most likely the last day they saw him; when Giles asks how she knows that, she points out that Dr. G had the same clothes on. Xander pipes up to say that he knows nobody wants to hear it, but -- what happened to Dr. Gregory's head? "Good point. I didn't want to hear that," Willow murmurs. Buffy has a brain wave, remembering that Angel told her something was coming; Giles wishes he knew what Angel meant, and adds that he's done more research on the Master. Apparently, a henchvamp displeased the Master once back in the day, and the Master cut his hand off. "And replaced it with a fork?" Buffy asks incredulously. Giles doesn't know. Xander asks why Fork Guy would want to hurt a teacher, but Giles isn't sure Fork Guy had anything to do with it. Giles then gets out the newspaper and says that, two nights ago, a homeless person "was practically shredded" in Weatherly Park. But it's nothing like Dr. Gregory's death, and, as Buffy comments, "Fork Guy doesn't do heads." Also, Dr. G's blood wasn't drained. Xander figures out what that means -- namely, that there's something else out there "besides Silverwareman" -- and complains that they live on Monster Island, but Buffy merely shrugs that they live on the Hellmouth and that's how it goes. Giles says that, while "unpleasant things do gravitate here," Fork Guy is still their prime suspect. Buffy asks innocently where the homeless guy got killed, and Giles warns her that she shouldn't go hunting until they know more. He makes her promise not to "do anything rash." "Cross my heart," she chirps.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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