Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Teacher's Pet

Episode Report Card
Sars: C | 8 USERS: C-
A Bug's Life

Bio. There's a test going on, and Miss French reminds everyone to keep their eyes on their own papers. She walks up behind Xander, rests her boobs on his shoulder, and helps him with an answer, then puts her hand stagily on his shoulder and says she'll see him after school.

Out in the hall, Buffy charges up, peeks in the window, and grumps, "Oh, great, a pop quiz."

Inside, Miss French can sense Buffy behind her. She looks up.

Cut back and forth between Miss French and Buffy staring through the window of the classroom door, as Miss French cranks her head around a hundred and Linda Blair degrees to stare at Buffy. The effect itself is cheesy, but the cuts make it work; Buffy agrees, ducking away from the window and breathing heavily.

Walking into the library, Buffy corrects Willow: "No, I'm not saying she craned her neck. We're talking full-on Exorcist twist." Don't step on my punchlines, Summers. "Ouch," Willow observes, and that reminds Buffy -- why isn't Blayne in school today after his one-on-one tutoring with Miss French yesterday? "Inquiring minds want to know," Willow says. Not about that guy, they don't. Giles hasn't made any progress, so Buffy tells him to look for something that can turn its head all the way around; Giles says nothing human can do that, and Buffy says that some insects can. She announces her intention to stop Miss French. "What are you going to do?" Giles asks. SMG goes for the exacta with both a cheesy line and a clunky delivery when she answers, "My homework." She flounces up the stairs to do research. Willow smiles indulgently, and Buffy saves the scene from Win This One For Dr. Gregory territory by flouncing back to ask, "Where're the books on bugs?"

In the bio classroom, Miss French is fixing herself a snack when Xander comes in for his session. There's egg-sac (ew) banter before Miss French simpers that she's done something "really stupid" and she hopes Xander can forgive her. No problem! Forgiveness is his middle name! Well, "actually it's 'LaVelle,' and I'd appreciate it if you'd guard that secret with your life." Wow. "LaVelle" is tough. Anyway, it seems that Miss French has a "teachers' conference" in half an hour, and she "left" her supplies at home -- would Xander mind terribly coming over to her house later to work on the project? At night? In her home? Where they can have sex? DO YOU GET IT? Xander burbles, "Come to...uh...your place." Quick cut to Xander's guitar solo from the beginning. Hee! Okay, that's funny. Miss French gives him her address and says she'll see him tonight. He staggers out of the room and does a triumphant "ooh YES!" fist-pump outside. Miss French goes back to making a cricket Dagwood. She has really cool lime-green nail polish on.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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