Miss Calendar thanks Giles for "loaning" her a Forrester book, which gets my usage hackles up. And don't email me telling me the usage is correct; I know the verb "to loan" is acceptable in this situation nowadays, but I just don't like it. At least it only replaces "to lend" in actual physical transactions. I mean, can you imagine "Friends, Romans, countrymen! Loan me your ears!" Blech. And I'm sorry if you're bored with my grammatical ruminations, but the fact is that picturing Amy Yip and Xander in the waterslide park caused my brain to dribble out of my ears, so me finishing this recap in any kind of coherent manner will be tantamount to that monkeys/typewriters/works of Shakespeare thing.
Typing Monkeys: We are so sick of people talking about us like that.
Couch Baron: Whoa! I didn't think you guys actually existed.
Typing Monkeys: Well, we do, and we're sick of being disrespected all the time. I mean, how would you like it if people said, "Given enough time, the Couch Baron will actually write a funny recap"?
Couch Baron I guess I wouldn't really like that at all. I'm sorry.
Typing Monkeys: Well, maybe we'll forgive you. What are you writing now?
Couch Baron: It's an idea for a novel. It starts out, "It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times."
Typing Monkeys: You really aren't funny. You know that, right?
You see what has happened to my brain? Anyway, the typing monkeys are going to keep an eye on me for the rest of the recap. Giles tells Miss Calendar that the edition he lent her belonged to his father. Miss Calendar says she usually dog-ears pages she wants to reread, but she did that so many times that she just started underlining passages in Giles's book. Giles reacts to this with mounting horror, and when he hears that Miss Calendar spilled coffee all over it, manages to utter that it's a first edition. Miss Calendar catches up to even the typing monkeys and me when she tells him that she's joking. She gives back the book, and declares that she just loves to see him squirm. She goes on that he's a fuddy-duddy, but a sexy one at that. I was just saying the same...whoops. More flirting ensues, and ordinarily I'd be annoyed, but as long as it's not Xander and Amy Yip, I'm five by five. Even when Giles and Miss Calendar basically make a date to dance the horizontal mambo, I'm cool. They lean in. The bell rings, but they go through with a quick kiss before the hallway starts filling with students. They keep saying that their date is for "Saturday." The monkeys type, "Don't they mean 'tomorrow'?"