Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Freshman

Episode Report Card
Sep: D | 3 USERS: B-
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The Freshman

Willow and Buffy have lost Oz as they make their way upstairs to the library. Buffy mentions how convenient it would be if Giles was the librarian here. Willow notes that, according to Giles, he is enjoying being "a man of leisure." Buffy wonders if that's British for "unemployed" and Willow agrees that he's a slacker. This brings the subject around to Xander (my spell-checker suggests we use "Dander" here instead. I'm almost inclined to agree), who we learn is not back from his quest to drive to all fifty states. Buffy inquires if Willow explained about Hawaii, but Willow didn't because "he seemed too determined." They round a final corner, and Buffy is overawed by the size of the library. Willow seems enthused, but Buffy just looks uncomfortable. Now we're in the bookstore, Willow and Buffy looking for their books. I add the fact that they can even move down the aisles to my list of Completely Unbelievable Things in this episode. Willow spies the textbooks for Psychology but they're too high up, so Buffy reaches up and while attempting to get them down she knocks them off the shelf. If I could go back in time right now, I'd have her push a little harder, because the books fall on Riley, who was kneeling near the floor. They actually did hit him pretty hard -- maybe he was actually likable at one point and he's been in a concussed state since then. Yeah, I'll quit grasping at straws now. Anyway, Buffy stammers out an apology as Riley helps her collect the books. He notices that the books are Intro to Psych texts and asks if they are taking the class or if they "just want him dead." Buffy says, "Uh-huh. I mean the first one." I'll put a vote in for the "dead" option and I'm sure Ace will too, so Buffy is overruled. Motion passed. Riley dies. Right? Oh, crap -- he keeps talking, saying that Professor Walsh is "quite a character." As if an introductory Psych course only has one Professor teaching it. Willow asks if he's taken it, and Riley tells her that he's helping to teach it. Introductions are made all around, and Willow asks if they'll be studying operant conditioning. Buffy is relegated to scenery for the moment as Riley and Willow bond over brainy things. Buffy tries to break in by saying, "Yeah, 'cause everyone's got a brain." This reminded me of a conversation with my friend Keight, who was complaining bitterly about her fellow students in some of her upper-division Psych classes and decrying all UC Berkeley students as dim. Once a Psych major myself, I told her my theory that Psych gets a lot of people looking for an easy major, their reasoning being, "Psychology is like the study of the human mind, right? Well, I'm human and I have a mind!" Anyway, Riley and I give Buffy an odd look as Willow and Riley walk off without her.

Buffy walks down the hall to her room, and as she opens the door she sees that her new roommate has arrived and is unpacking. They introduce themselves, and I take an immediate disliking to Kathy, probably because of her camouflage skirt in non-camouflage colors. I can't abide that. Also, she has a weak chin. Buffy sits down on her bed and comments on how nice the room is. Remember that List of Unbelievable Things I'm keeping? Well, the size of this dorm room goes right to the top. When I was at university I could check my messages, open the fridge, get a sweater from the closet, change the stereo, answer the door, and turn on the heater, all from my bed. ["You had a closet?" -- Sars] They make more pointless small talk and then Kathy carries a poster over to her side of the room and chirps, "I just know that this whole year is going to be super fun!" as she unfurls a large Celine Dion poster. Buffy looks stricken and I howl with laughter. Okay, whose idea was it to make ruthless fun of Canadians? Give that guy a raise! You can't tell me the Celine poster and the use of the word "super" were unintentional.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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