First of all the largest of thank-yous to the people who got me through the season. Ace, Eloquent Pelican, Les, Jason. Y'all rule. Special thanks to Sars, Wing Chun, and to all of the regulars on the boards as well. Without you guys, there would be no MBTV.
"Previously on Buffy," begins Giles's voice and then we flash to the very first episode of the show. I get ready to snicker derisively because Ace and I constantly mock how long the previouslys are, to the point that we are convinced not only that they will one day contain the conception of Joss, but of the entire universe as well. But then they begin showing clips from almost every episode, faster and faster and faster. Look at all the people I used to care about! Remember when the show had tertiary characters that were both interesting and important to the plot? If I were at my house with my Tivo, I would slo-mo through all of them to see if I can pick out the individual episodes, but I'm temporarily visiting The Luddites' Museum Of Consumer Electronics, a.k.a. my mom's place. This month's special exhibit is the first VCR ever made. Seriously. In place of a brand name, there are the letters VCR, and if you turn it over, the serial number reads 0000001. It's in stylish brushed aluminum and was bought by my parents in the beginning of Reagan's first term. Remote control? Not happening. It only records channels two through thirteen. Remember when the entire world of television was the range of channels two through thirteen? And that was if you had cable. If I get hungry and/or wish to work out later, I'll go into the kitchen exhibit and nuke some popcorn. The microwave has a hand-crank.
So. The previouslys segue into a first-victim POV of someone running down the alley. We turn the corner and see a kid in a striped shirt run into a dead end. He turns to face the mouth of the corridor with real apprehension. A vamp walks slowly onto the scene and starts talking about how the kid's blood is probably "pumping" and "hot." "Don't hurt me," pleads the kid, his voice breaking and face slick with sweat. At that moment, a door onto the alleyway opens and Buffy pops her head out. The vamp turns and growls while the kid shouts at Buffy to call the police. She ignores both of them and breezily asks if they were having a fight, and then PSAs that "fighting's not cool." The vamp invites Buffy to stay as an appetizer. She tries to warn him off, asking if he's heard of the Slayer. Instead, he rushes her. She quickly dispatches him, to the amazement of blue-striped-shirt boy. Buffy tells the kid to go home, and then he queries tremulously, "How'd you do that?" Buffy, already walking back to Der Zauber Kasten, doesn't even turn to reply, "It's what I do." "You're ju You're just a girl," he stutters. Buffy looks longingly off in the distance and in a melancholy tone replies, "That's what I keep saying."