Previously on Buffy, Parker and Buffy smooch and -- wait! Parker? Aw, crap. I thought we had gotten rid of him. Spike is shown with Harmony. Oh, no. No. I cannot handle another episode with both Parker and Harmony. Professor Walsh calls herself "the evil bitch-monster of death" (as if we forgot), and Spike is captured by our mysterious marauders.
Riley and his friend, Forrest, are sitting at a table in the dining hall. Riley is feverishly grading papers and Forrest is doing a little sightseeing while commenting that they need more "hotties" for the party they're throwing. Riley isn't really paying attention until Forrest asks him to check out a specific blonde girl. Riley turns to see Buffy getting a soda, and tells Forrest her name. Forrest asks Riley what he thinks of her and Riley replies, "I never really thought about what I think about her." Good thing Riley isn't majoring in English. And don't tell anyone, but I'm not surprised to learn that Riley doesn't think. He glances over at Buffy, who at this point is struggling with the frozen yogurt machine, the handle of which she inadvertently breaks off. Graham joins the dorkish duo at their table and Forrest points out Buffy to him, asking if he thinks she is "mattressable." This scene is really starting to tick me off. Oh, and shut up, Forrest. Forrest informs Graham that Riley doesn't like Buffy, but Riley interjects that he "doesn't dislike her," but "she never feels like she's really there when you talk to her." Considering all the conversations we've witnessed between Buffy and Riley, I can't blame Buffy for her drifting attention. Riley continues, "There's definitely something a little off about her." "Maybe she's Canadian," suggests Graham. Ba ha ha! That line was originally a joke to welcome a new Canadian writer to the team and was supposed to be edited out. The camera shows us Buffy again; she has given up on trying to fix the yogurt machine and is paying for her purchases. Riley admits that Buffy is "easy on the eyes," but he's not sure that anyone would really want to go out with her. Forrest disagrees as Buffy trips and drops her hard-won lunch. Where are they going with this insinuation that Buffy is clumsy? I'm not buying it for one second.
Now we have an overhead shot of Spike lying face-up on a white tile floor. You can really tell that Spike is not wearing any lipstick at all, his lips are incredibly pale. He stirs and mutters, "Slayer. I'll kill you." The camera pulls back as Spike regains consciousness, giving us an unobstructed view of the scads of eyeliner he's wearing. From this new perspective, we see that Spike is in a completely white room. He approaches what appears to be a window but is actually some sort of force field that shocks him. The camera continues to pull back, bringing a long row of identical white cells and doctors in white coats into focus as creepy sci-fi music twangs in the background.