Riley, Forrest, and Graham are all playing Frisbee in the lobby of their dorm or frat house. Riley is telling Forrest about Buffy's confrontation with Professor Hardass. Forrest admires Buffy's guts but Riley protests that Buffy is "nuts." Gee, it's nice to see that Riley considers Buffy's sticking up for Willow "nuts." I know I've mentioned Riley's hair before, but I really wish that he would invest in some clarifying shampoo. Suave has a good cheap product; I'm sure he could afford it. Parker descends the stairs and Forrest asks him for the scoop on Buffy. I'm not going to the trouble of recounting all of his comments here, but Parker is more than happy to slander Buffy. Riley looks more and more disturbed at each of Parker's comments. When Parker starts elaborating on the difference between freshman girls and toilet seats, Riley punches him. Too bad Buffy didn't get to have that cathartic moment herself, but at least she got to smack him around last week. Nice to see that Parker didn't learn his lesson. I know this scene was intended to make me like Riley more, and I'm ashamed to admit that it's working.
Riley and Co. walk through the campus, discussing Riley's violent tendencies. Riley can't understand what caused him to give Parker the WWF smack-down, because he's heard Forrest say cruder things about his own mother. Raise your hand if ew? And remind me not to invite Forrest to dinner. Romantic music swells as Riley "Forrest Gump" Finn says, "I think I -- well, I guess I like her." Forrest: "You're kind of like a moron." Sep: "'Like,' nothing." Riley is surprised to learn that everyone else knew he had a crush on Buffy, and Forrest says that calling her "peculiar" was a dead giveaway. Um. The last guy I went out with, even though I felt he was peculiar, attempted to walk across the country to visit me years after we broke up, so maybe Riley should listen to his gut. They ask him what he is going to do, and he says that he's "going to see about a girl." Y'know, Riley is like a box of chocolates -- sometimes he just makes me throw up. And since nobody else is speaking up here, I'd like to point out that it's extremely inappropriate for Riley to date Buffy since he's her TA. For someone who is conveyed as a real stand-up guy, you'd think he could wait a semester. ["You'd also think he could come up with his own lines instead of lifting them from Good Will Hunting." -- Sars]
Spike is passed out cold in the middle of his cell with an empty bag of blood near him. Two doctors roll up a padded gurney and use a pass card to open the cell. Thing One drags Spike on top of the gurney, but as he starts to fasten the restraints, Spike grabs his throat: "Sorry. Can't stay. Gotta go see about a girl." During the ambient choking sounds, we fade to commercial.