Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Killer In Me

Episode Report Card
Sep: D+ | 3 USERS: C-
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The Killer In Me

Willren, as Warren, is looking into a glass case. The guy behind the counter gestures to the guns in the case and asks, "So, same model as last time? How'd that work out for you?" Cut to Willren as Willow, who places her hands on the counter and leers all evilly, "You'd be amazed!" If only. But I did like seeing Aly Hannigan be all creepy there. It was more fun than three episodes of zombie-like Dark Willow.

Giles! Giles is still sitting next to his campfire. Giles in jeans and boots. Oh, yum. It's a wider shot this time, so we can see his campsite with his little tent set up in the background. A few prop Joshua trees are set up among the sand and fake rocks are scattered about. Spooky desert noises on the soundtrack; Giles, clutching his arms around his body from the cold, stands up and starts walking towards the back of the set. I think he's going to take a pee behind one of the larger foam rocks. Before he can get too far, though, he's tackled to the ground by Xander, Anya, Andrew, and Dawn. Good timing, guys; if you'd gotten there a few seconds later, we might have seen some really inappropriate touching. The look of surprise on Giles's face as Xander rushes at him, arms outstretched, is really priceless. Hee! Giles is all bug-eyes and gaping mouth as he falls to the ground. "Touch him, touch him!" shouts Xander to the gang. If only I could, Xander, if only I could. Xander and Dawn grope at Giles's shoulders, Anya grabs his torso, and Andrew is located somewhere around his thighs. Sounds like we've wandered into some random fan fic, doesn't it? "Oooh, I feel him," shouts Dawn, and Andrew actually cracks me up a little by managing to render his, "Me too!" in a very salacious voice. Giles is quite understandably confused about being submitted to this stealth group-grope. "Good, we all feel each other," he snaps, and then addresses Andrew: "Including some of us who don't know each other well enough to take such liberties, thank you." Hee. He's very proper there at the end with that "thank you." Andrew looks embarrassed and removes his hands from Giles's leg. Anya stares at Giles's mouth like she's overcome with the need to kiss him. You think I'm making that up? Check out the episode again -- Anya has a very strange, swoony look on her face at this point. She is so in love with Giles. Erm, anyway, Giles, still lying on his back and being felt up, requests an explanation for this quite strange behavior. "We thought you might be non-corporeal evil," swoons Anya. I guess ex-demons might be into some quite kinky things, up to and including sharing their honeys with a teenager and two big geeks. "We had to make sure you were okay. We were worried," amends Xander. Aw, Giles is so touched. He makes little pleased noises and then sits up on his arms, confused. "Now wait a minute. You thought...you think I'm evil if I bring a group of girls on a camping trip and don't touch them?" Bwa! That was laugh-out-loud funny the first time I saw this, and I laugh so infrequently at the show these days. I don't think it was an entirely Gilesean thing to say, but I liked the wry observational humor of it and didn't feel it was at all inappropriate.

Okay, I was charmed and amused by that scene, but it's over now, so I feel the need to rant. The stupidity of the Scoobies not setting up some sort of daily handshake test after being tricked by Eve aside, how lame was this Giles "plot"? Six freakin' episodes of "What's up with Giles? Isn't Giles acting funny? Why is Giles being such a dick? Did Giles touch anything? What's going on with Giles?" and we find out the answer is -- wait for it -- NOTHING. Nothing is going on with Giles. God only knows (or at least I hope so, because the writers sure don't) why he was being such a big jerk, the Scoobies are irredeemably, tragically stupid, and the viewers have been wasting their time on a moronic subplot that carried over almost half of the episodes already aired and had absolutely no dramatic payoff whatsoever. And okay, I know the Giles plot wasn't the main thing going on this season, but he's just about the only character I still have deep affection for, so I was paying attention and trying to figure out where we were going and to find out we were going exactly NOWHERE just. Pisses. Me. Off.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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