Speaking of which, we get a camera angle from something running down the crowded hall. Students scream and get out of the way as dramatic music plays. Principal Flutie: "It's gotten loose!" Not that I would have fallen for this anyway, but if it's something that he knew about already, how dangerous could it be? Anyway, Buffy scoops it up. It's a baby pig, wearing a football helmet and the cheapest-looking construction of a ridge on its back imaginable. I could have produced something more professional-looking when I was four. Flutie tries to get everyone psyched about Herbert, the Sunnydale High Razorbacks' new mascot. Honestly, I like Flutie in small doses, but he's no Snyder, so I'm glad about what's to come. Also, has anything actually happened in this episode yet?
That would be "no." Willow tutors Xander. He's not getting it. She's patient. He's petulant. She's patient. He has a headache. She's patient. He throws his textbook in the trash and stomps off. She's patient. Hey, did anyone notice that Willow was kind of patient in that scene?
Buffy carries the pig as Flutie lectures her on school spirit. "Today it's all gangs and drugs and those movies on Showtime with the nudity." Boy, imagine if he'd lived to see Queer as Folk U.S. And is that show getting picked up for a third season? Because if it is, all I can say is, poor, poor Pamie. Flutie: "Of course, when I was your age, I was surrounded by old guys telling me how much better things were when they were my age." He smiles. Aw. They always make them so sympathetic right before they're eaten. Flutie goes into the classroom as Buffy coos over the pig. Xander walks by, and the pig starts screaming. Xander walks off. Buffy, didn't you see Alien? The animals always know what's up! Actually, she does look kind of wigged.
Lightning crashes. An old mother dies. Oh, sorry. Cut to the gym, where the kids are lined up in two rows facing each other. The gym teacher, a man that looks in his early fifties, walks down the row and gives this speech: "It's raining. All regular gym classes have been postponed. So you know what that means. Dodgeball." Hee! Buffy and Willow exchange a look. As the teacher walks, we see that Xander, Lance, and the Prat Pack are all on the same side. Blake gives another smoldering look, and is the only male wearing a tank top in the whole class. God, he looks gay. In the real sense and in the Smurfy sense. Not that he's not cute, but still. The teacher continues, "For those of you that may have forgotten, the rules are as follows: You dodge." Hee. The game starts. Several kids get hit, but not the Prat Pack. Willow survives for a while, but eventually Xander hits her, hard. She looks at him reproachfully, and sits down. Soon, the only ones left are Xander, Lance, and the Prat Pack on one side, and Buffy on the other. Pretty predictable so far. But in the first part of the episode that I really like, the Prat Pack and Xander slowly turn to Lance, and start whaling on him with the dodgeballs. Buffy rushes over and helps Lance to his feet. He steps behind her, and she and Xander throw visual gauntlets. Xander turns to go, and the Prat Pack follows, but not before Blake throws another smoldering look in the direction of the gym teacher. The teacher mutters, "God, this game is brutal. I love it." What happened to that guy?