Wow, I forgot that Ed O'Neill was a 1-800-COLLECT spokesperson. Does the career death come before or after?
School, outside. Xander walks. I've got to admit, in the second half of Season Three, Xander looked pretty hot. Hair was under control, body was in great shape. Anya calls his name, and walks up with a smile. He teases her for not having her powers back, then worriedly asks if he's right in that assumption. She confirms that he is, but says that it's just a matter of time before she does. Yes. A matter of a long, long, fucking long time, during which you two will torture everyone with your single-entendre-filled romance, your pathetic engagement, and your public-humiliation wedding ceremony. Oh, phew. I thought I wouldn't get any vitriol into this recap. Anyway. Blah blah blah vengeance-demon-exposition-cakes. Anya rants about how awful men are, which prompts Xander to ask why she's talking to him, then. Unable to look at him, she admits, "I don't have a date for the prom." Say what you will about Anya's character over the years, but I think Emma Caulfield is a terrific actress. Her timing and delivery are consistently really good. Xander sarcastically wonders why she doesn't have a date. Anya: "Men are evil. Will you go with me?" Hee. Xander: "One of us is very confused, and I honestly don't know which." Uh, can't you both be? Shut up, Xander. She berates him for causing her predicament by being unfaithful to Cordelia, and whines that she's stuck in a high-school girl's body. "All I know is, I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me." Xander wonders why he got the "short straw." Insert short straw joke here. Anya says he's not as obnoxious as most of the "alpha males" around there. "Alpha males"? At best, I'd rate Xander an epsilon. She continues that she knows he doesn't have a date, but he says he hasn't "settled" on anyone yet. I giggle as I picture him "settling" on a girl by tackling and sitting on her until she agrees to go with him. Anya says she knows Xander finds her attractive because she's seen him looking at her breasts. Wow, Anya can blurt out naughty anatomical names without being embarrassed! Isn't that an endearing character trait? Don't you wish she'd do it over and over and over again? Xander counters that when a guy does that, "it just means his eyes are open." She "whatevers" him, always a good idea in my book, and asks again if he'll go with her. Long pause.