Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Replacement

Episode Report Card
Jessica: D | 4 USERS: B
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The Replacement

After the landlady exits, Clean Xander calls Anya. He gets her machine, and says that he knows she's there, screening her calls. "I am not," Anya brats, from the safety of her (heretofore unseen) apartment. In case you're wondering, Anya appears to live in a Victorian bordello and also owns some lovely 1930s silk pajamas. She listens as Clean Xander tells her to meet him "at the apartment," because he has "something to show [her]."

As Clean Xander exits his apartment, Dirty Xander lunges from the shadows and, with a clearly Kung Fu-inspired "Hi YA!," jumps him. Clean Xander shrugs Dirty Xander off, and with little more than a surprised glance at his doppelganger, decks him. Dirty Xander hits the floor. "I won't let you do this!" he yells, as Clean Xander books down the hallway. Dirty Xander groans, "Oh man, I need Buffy."

Rain falls on Sunnydale, washing the streets clean of whatever copious amounts of blood were let that day. Dirty Xander scurries through Giles' courtyard and peers in the window of Giles' apartment -- where Clean Xander is giving Giles, Buffy, and Riley an account of his encounter with Dirty Xander. "We have to find it, and we have to kill it," says the robotic, calm, preternaturally collected voice of Clean Xander. Dirty Xander grimaces. Foiled again! "Please Buffy," he moans, "resist his spell!" But inside, Buffy tells Clean Xander that "whatever it is," it "has to deal with the Slayer now." Ruh-roh!

Is it wrong that this "My Chalupa" commercial makes me laugh? If it is, I don't want to be right.

This is the part where I laugh and laugh and laugh, because Willow is returning to what is ostensibly her dorm room at UC Sunnydale. I laugh for several reasons: (a) a single room at a UC school -- not going to happen, (b) a room this size for, like, four people at a UC school -- also not going to happen, and (c) the building her room is allegedly located in? The main library on the UCLA campus, and about twelve thousand times nicer than any of the dorms, all of which are like concrete shoeboxes of death. Anyway, Willow returns to her room, where her solitude is quickly interrupted by Dirty (and wet!) Xander, who clearly believes Buffy has placed Willow on Xander Evil Twin Tactical Alert, and is hysterical to convince her that it's the real him. Willow calmly sits on the bed, as Xander attempts to prove that he's him and not some evil face-stealing demon by listing all kinds of facts that only he could know, like details of his seventh birthday, his alleged lactose intolerance, and their Christmas tradition of watching Charlie Brown together. And then, in a shout-out to all the old-school fans of this show, Dirty Xander does "the Snoopy dance," (which, yes, looks just like the dance Snoopy does in A Charlie Brown Christmas -- head straight up in the hair, arms down by the sides, knees up) a very nice bit of continuity and attention to detail on the part of the writer. Willow wonders why she wouldn't believe Xander is who he says he is, and he explains that, you know, there is a whole other Xander out there wandering around, only cleaner and neater and more obsessed with shiny things. He yelps that Clean Xander has already gotten to Giles and Buffy and Riley!

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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