Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Replacement

Episode Report Card
Jessica: D | 4 USERS: B
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The Replacement

Dirty Xander somehow gets into Anya's bedroom and, conveniently, Clean Xander's message to her, stating the time and place he would like to meet her, is still on the machine. Dirty Xander begins to rummage through Anya's drawers. Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm talking about her literal drawers, silly -- she isn't there!

Because she's at the new apartment with Clean Xander. Anya can't believe that he's managed to score such a boss pad. Clean Xander explains suavely that he did it all for her. They mack. Clean Xander pulls away from Anya for a moment and establishes that she hadn't seen him previously that day (in other words, that she's still under the impression that there is only one Xander). The lovebirds nestle on the carpet with a little wine and cheese. Anya wonders, "What happens next?" Clean Xander suggests they get nekked, but Anya wants to know what happens next in their lives; when they get a car, or a boat, or a puppy, or a child. She explains that she doesn't have time to just let things happen, and yadda yadda yadda, coming to grips with the fact that she is no longer a demon and dealing with the idea of mortalitycakes. Clean Xander reacts sensitively to Anya's newfound fear of aging and death. He moves in for another smackeroo, when Dirty Xander bursts in the door and yells at his Rico Suave self to get his hands off his girlfriend! Huh? You know what I mean. Clean Xander orders Dirty Xander out of his apartment, and each Xander attempts (one frantically, the other, not so much) to convince Anya that he is the real Xander. She cuddles up next to Clean Xander and pouts for him to make Dirty Xander go away. I'd just like to say that if Anya thinks Clean Xander is a more believable Xander than Dirty Xander, she doesn't know Xander very well. Or something.

Back at Giles', Buffy (still wearing that awful outfit) is planning her attack on Toth, when Willow bursts in and tells them about the two, two, two Xanders. Buffy wonders how Willow knew about the situation, and as Willow explains about Dirty Xander and his frantic mission to convince her that he is who he says he is, Giles reads from yet another heavy, leather-bound Book of Doom. "Oh, dear Lord," he sighs. As Buffy, Willow, and Riley attempt to figure out which Xander was the real Xander (and they're leaning towards Willow's, because their Xander was "too forceful and confident"), Giles reminds them that he just said, "Oh, dear Lord." "You always say that," Buffy points out. "Well, it's always important," Giles retorts. Snerk. He informs them that, in fact, neither Xander is a demon. "Is one of them a robot?" Willow wonders. Giles frowns and explains that, actually, the weapon Toth used splits "one person into half, distilling personality traits into two separate bodies." Translating, Giles tells them that Toth was trying to split Buffy into two separate people; one all Super Slayer and one Not Slayer at All. Therefore, when Xander got in the way, his personality was split into its weakest and strongest components (what does it mean when the weakest part of your personality is the most likeable? Because Clean Xander kind of creeped me out). Both Xanders are Xander, Giles explains. Neither is evil, and neither has any qualities that the original Xander didn't already possess somewhere. Wow, the snazzy-dressing quality must have been buried deep, then. Riley wonders why Toth wanted to split the Slayer in two to begin with, especially since the Slayer half would be invincible. Giles moves the plot along by telling them that if one of the two halves is killed, both die. And non-Slayer Buffy would have been toast. Buffy comments helpfully that if they lose one Xander, they lose them both.

Back at the apartment, Anya still can't decide which Xander is the real Xander. Clean Xander reassures her calmly that he'll "get rid of this thing," but as he approaches Dirty Xander, Dirty Xander whips a gun out of his waistband and sticks it in Clean Xander's mug. Anya jumps between the two of them and they tussle for the weapon.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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