In the library, Oz growls. Willow wonders if he can sense the imminent apocalypse. Buffy locates a passage about the Sisterhood of Jhe, which describes them as fierce female warriors that celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes. Buffy: "They couldn't just pour Gatorade on each other?" Yeah, you're really shaking in your boots, Buffy. At least Willow's trying to act nervous. And Buffy's hair is now up and super-crimped. Bleah. Giles comes out of the office, seething that the Council won't even take his calls. Buffy says she intends to check out Willy's. Giles says he's going to attempt to contact the "Spirit Guides," entities that exist "out of time, with knowledge of the future." It would be so entertaining if they manifested themselves as Darth Burger. He goes on a bit more until he notices the doughnut plate: "Did you eat all the jellies?" Buffy: "Did you want a jelly?" Giles: "I always have a jelly. I'm always the one that says, 'Let's have a jelly in the mix.'" Willow: "We're sorry. Buffy had three." Hee. I put that whole exchange in because it's a refreshing break from the heavy-handedness of most of the rest of the episode. Giles suggests that Xander could get more, but Buffy reiterates her opinion that Xander should stay where it's safe. Since. Fucking. When?
Outside the Bronze. Now I'm forced to repeat my own joke about repeating anvils. Xander babbles an apology, but Tool pulls out a large Bowie knife. Xander says it looks more like a sword. I'll refrain from making allusions to Shakespearean sword metaphors. Tool says that it's named "Katie." Xander: "You gave it a girl's name. How very serial-killer of you." Xander makes to leave, but Tool puts the knife to his ear, and asks if he's scared. Xander: "Would that make you happy?" Tool says that Xander must feel pathetic. Yeah, from being seen with the likes of you. Tool blathers that the difference between them is that Xander has more fear. To prove his point, he puts the knife in Xander's hand. BG picks this moment to say that she's bored. In an ideal world, Xander plunges the knife into her eye, and he and Tool grab a beer and giggle like schoolgirls, ending the episode. I would have settled for Xander running away now, which would be the logical thing to do. However, this is the hell known as "The Zeppo," so Xander merely says to BG, "I'm really sorry my life-and-death situation isn't exciting enough for you!" Tool grabs him and throws him down on the hood of the car, and they struggle for the knife. A light shines on Tool, and a cop approaches as they disengage. The cop asks what's going on. Tool says they were just "wrastling." Dude, only one person on this show can get away with saying "wrastling," and her name is Faith. Shut up, Tool. The cop recognizes Tool, and asks Xander if Tool attacked him. In an actual display of wussiness, Xander says no, and that they're just "two guys wrastling, but not in a gay way." Actually, it was in a gay way, but not in the same-sex-attraction meaning of the word "gay." The cop leaves, and Tool looks at Xander in a dually gay way. "Coulda narced on me, didn't do it. It's decent of you." For a discussion on the use of the word "narced," let's hear from Sars. ["Colloquial English had evolved well past the use of 'to narc' as a verb at the time this episode aired, so I imagine we're to assume that it's a satirical use of the word, but as it does so many times in this ep, the satire fails. In short, shut up, Tool. You too, Vebber." -- Sars] Tool smarms, "I like you." Xander offers his patented insincere "Yay?" that always makes me giggle. Tool asks if they want to have some fun. Is BG still there? Yeah, as she broken-records about driving. Tool says he was on his way to "get the boys," and "suggests" that they take Xander's car. Xander asks about Tool's car. Tool: "Ain't mine." Ha. Ha. Dickhead. They pile in as Xander asks, "So where are the boys?"