Buffy and Willow walk outside the school. Blah blah blah Hellmouth-exposition-cakes. Willow says that she has recurring nightmares about the Hellmouth, as well as about academic failure and public nudity. "In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test, and naked." Buffy flatlines, "The world will be overrun with demons if we don't stop it." I'm choosing to believe that ME didn't even try to sell the idea that they were facing the end of the world. I was more worried in "Doomed," and that's saying a lot. Buffy says that they're headed into "deep research mode," and invites Willow to join. This episode is killing me. Firstly, from Buffy's hair, which is less crimpy, I deduce that they waited until the next day to even mobilize for research. The line at the DMV moves faster than that. And since when would they even think of doing research without a core member of the Scoobies -- Xander included? Buffy flatlines again, "There's something about this one that scares me." You mean besides the world ending? She sounds like she's more scared of breaking a nail.
The girls are startled by a car horn. It's Xander. He looks great in a black jacket, a vintage patterned shirt, and shades. He's driving a very cool light blue '50s-looking car. I'll rely on some ditz later in the episode for the car's specs. Instead of being suitably impressed, Buffy snits, "What is this?" It's called a "car," Princess of Attitude. You've wanted one for ages, and his is awesome. Get over yourself. Willow asks how Xander can afford it, but he says his Uncle Rory is renting it to him. Buffy finally insincerely manages that the car is "nice." You know, when I like Xander more than anyone else in an episode, it's ten pounds of ugly in a five-pound bag, you know what I'm saying? Thank God for Faith. Xander notes her lack of enthusiasm. Buffy: "Sorry." Willow: "Evil." They discuss the magnitude of the evil. Xander earnestly says he'll do whatever he can to help.
Cut to Xander ordering doughnuts. Oh, the irony! The cleverness! The originality! And by that, I mean "the predictability, the stupidity, the triteness." Sheesh. I like Xander-bashing more than the next guy, but not for things that are out of character and make no sense. Cordelia just happens by, noting that there must be some evil going on. She continues where she left off earlier, saying that he's expendable. Considering that they actually face death on a regular basis, that's a truly awful thing to say. Xander, for his part, at least tries to leave this time. Cordy keeps it up, saying that a new car won't change his image. "Like anybody even cares about" -- "Is that your car?" It's a fairly pretty blonde interrupting. Xander acknowledges that it is. Blonde Girl: "'57 Chevy Bel Air, 283 CID, solid lifter, fuel-injected V8?" Xander: "Uh, very possibly!" Hee. BG asks how "she" handles. Xander: "Like a dream about warm, sticky things." He invites her for a ride. She asks if he's busy. Uh, he just invited you for a ride. Get with the program, Blondie. He says that once he drops off the doughnuts, he's "expendable," as he shoots a glance at Cordelia. She looks like she just swallowed gum. They peel out.