Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Zeppo

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C | 10 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
A Midsummer Night's Nightmare

The Bronze. BG is telling Xander about her past boyfriends. It's apparent that she's a car slut. Not like that (although I wouldn't discount the possibility) -- I mean that she's only interested in guys because of their cars. Okay, that's kind of funny. Xander's clearly not enjoying himself. Angel walks in, and Xander pops up and calls his name eagerly. He invites Angel to join them, but he says he's looking for Buffy. This is so fucking contrived -- I hate this structuring of Xander's one-by-one meetings with the other characters. Angel, did you, like, maybe call the library, where Buffy's been all day? And did Buffy, in the day-plus that she's known about the Hellmouth opening, think maybe to tell Angel, one of the three strongest fighters for good in Sunnydale and no small wealth of information about the demon world as well? Where's my cocktail? Angel says he's seen portents of an apocalypse, and Xander confirms that and tells Angel the gang is on it. He suggests that they go help, but Angel says Xander should stay out of harm's way. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. He leaves. BG asks Xander to go for another drive.

Xander complains to BG that he puts himself on the line for the Scoobs a lot. "They act like I'm some kind of klutz." BOOM! Xander hits the parked car in front of him. Whether the noise was cause by the impact of the two cars meeting or the clunkiness of that gag is impossible to tell. Xander gets out, muttering to himself that it's a fender-bender and not -- Tool gets out of the car -- "the end of the world." Now Contrivance is throwing recycled anvils at me. I'm never going to make it through this episode.

In the library, Oz growls. Willow wonders if he can sense the imminent apocalypse. Buffy locates a passage about the Sisterhood of Jhe, which describes them as fierce female warriors that celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes. Buffy: "They couldn't just pour Gatorade on each other?" Yeah, you're really shaking in your boots, Buffy. At least Willow's trying to act nervous. And Buffy's hair is now up and super-crimped. Bleah. Giles comes out of the office, seething that the Council won't even take his calls. Buffy says she intends to check out Willy's. Giles says he's going to attempt to contact the "Spirit Guides," entities that exist "out of time, with knowledge of the future." It would be so entertaining if they manifested themselves as Darth Burger. He goes on a bit more until he notices the doughnut plate: "Did you eat all the jellies?" Buffy: "Did you want a jelly?" Giles: "I always have a jelly. I'm always the one that says, 'Let's have a jelly in the mix.'" Willow: "We're sorry. Buffy had three." Hee. I put that whole exchange in because it's a refreshing break from the heavy-handedness of most of the rest of the episode. Giles suggests that Xander could get more, but Buffy reiterates her opinion that Xander should stay where it's safe. Since. Fucking. When?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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