Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Zeppo

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C | 10 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
A Midsummer Night's Nightmare

Buffy: "Tonight?" Okay, I've had it. I officially don't care about this apocalypse subplot. No apocalypse to see here. La la la la la. Aaugh! I can't do it. I'll just have to keep ranting. We're at Willy's bar. He lies slumped against the wall, beaten to a pulp. The bar's in shambles. Willy says the Sisterhood was looking for Angel and Buffy. Because Willy's is their number-one hangout. Willy: "They said nothing could stand in their way." From that first scene, it seemed like the only sounds they made were guttural pig noises. Maybe Willy's bilingual. He says he's never seen anything like these demons. And yet they left him alive. Yawn. He advises Buffy to find Angel and think about how they want to spend their last night together.

Cut to the members of Deada Kappa Epsilon, driving and yelling about partying. They've picked up one more member, who looks straight out of the video for "Thriller." They talk about gang-related stuff, which is apparently how they died. That's the saddest excuse for a gang I've ever seen. Menudo was more intimidating than these guys. They decide to "bake a cake." That seems fitting. They pull up to a hardware store. Tool instructs Xander to stay there and keep the motor running. Meathead breaks the front window with a garbage can. Xander freaks to himself that he's now "involved in crime." He hears Willow come out of the magic shop, and calls her over. She explains that she was getting supplies for a protection spell, and that "it's happening tonight." He doesn't know what she means. She says she has to go. If she's in that much of a hurry, shouldn't she ask Xander for a ride? And shouldn't he offer her one? She hugs him tightly, tells him she loves him (aw), and leaves. Xander starts to say to himself that he's going to ditch the Deadas, but he turns to find Tool right there. Xander tells Tool he's got to go. The other Deadas come out with supplies. Tool tells them that Xander wants to leave. They say that Xander should be initiated so he'll feel like one of the gang. Xander tries to act excited about that, and asks what he has to do. Tool pulls his knife: "You gotta die." Wow, this episode is full of twists and turns! That might explain why I feel so nauseated.

After the break, Xander is freaked, and tries to stall. Meathead actually cracks me up: "What, you're too good to be dead?" He grabs Xander by the lapels. "You got a problem with dead people?" Hee. Xander says that Tool's not dead, but Tool lifts his shirt to reveal several bullet holes. He explains that it was a "drive-by three weeks ago." He says that his grandfather found his body and raised him not ten minutes after he died. Except he refers to him as his "grandpappy." Whatever, frontier trash. And the stars were suddenly aligned when you died? Blond Boy, excitedly: "Let's kill Xander! It'll be fun!" Heh. Xander manages to run away. They chase him in a configuration that makes it possible for him to double back to the car and drive off. Idiots. They bemoan the loss of the supplies, but Tool says they'll get more. It's not like the police would have shown up by now or anything. Contrivance just bought a new Mercedes.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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