Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: B- | 933 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Scenes from a passport office

Glory is descending the staircase in her apartment, prattling on about how buzzed she is from sucking Tara's brain. She's interrupted by an impromptu sort of earthquake, and then Willow bursts through the door floating all Fairuza Balk in The Craft. Um. Y'know. It's not really an homage if you rip off a movie that sucks. In that case, it's just pathetic. Willow chants something at Glory, and her eyes turn into twin pools of jet black to indicate bad mojo. The spell binds Glory in place and Willow snarls, "I. Owe. You. Pain" before letting go with the lightning.

At the caves, it's Buffy's turn to reassure Dawn that she isn't to blame for the situation. Dawn asks after Willow, and Buffy tells her that she was out for revenge, but through the powerful and affecting words of Buffy Summers, Willow saw the error of her ways. Because if you remember incorrectly, Willow has never tried to solve her problems with magic when she's in pain. Spike brings up essentially the same point. Buffy reasons that it would be "like suicide." Spike sort of shrugs and says that if he really cared about someone, the futility of the mission wouldn't stop him. Uh huh. I see a tragic end in Spike's future. Buffy sits there like a stump, stupefied. "Buffy, if someone had done that to me," begins Dawn, and Buffy, with an "oh shit" look on her face, is up and out the door before Dawn can finish her sentence.

"Shatter!" commands Willow, and shards of glass from a nearby mirror fly towards Glory and cut through her. "Is that it? Is that the best you can do?" demands Glory, but it's not really clear if she's talking to Willow or the special-effects crew. Glory backhands Willow, sending her flying, and Willow counters with a flurry of daggers. Glory easily knocks them out of the air while Will gears up another spell. Glory throws a table at Willow, knocking her to the floor, but she manages to conjure a snake, which wraps itself around Glory's leg. Glory quickly shakes it off, and it disappears in a puff of smoke. She strides over and grabs Willow's chin in her hands, saying, "This is getting weak. And so are you, honey." In response, Willow hawks an impressive loogie at Glory's face. Behold the power of spit! Glory grabs Willow with one hand and a wicked-looking knife with the other, and is about to impale Willow when Buffy enters the apartment. She and Glory fight, and the only thing that makes this scene remotely worth watching is the amusement it brings to see the incredible expanding Buffy. Seriously. The stunt double is soooo obvious. Funhouse-mirror obvious. Buffy shoves a couch at Glory and goes to collect Willow. Oh, that's going to hold her. Even I with my non-godly powers could manage to extricate myself from the nefarious grasp of oversized furniture. Which Glory does. "Thicken," cants Willow in Glory's direction, and the screen goes all wavy to indicate that Glory is trapped at least long enough for Willow and Buffy to escape.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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