Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Two To Go (1)

Episode Report Card
Sep: C- | 2 USERS: C+
Two Too Many

Xander and Anya are at Der Zauber Kasten, working on translating the spell; it's not going so well. Anya whinges that Xander is standing too close to her, and that she's not cut out for doing this kind of work anyway: "I'm in retail." Having worked both in retail and as a translator, I'd go for translation any day. Jonathan pipes up that he thinks it's probably Babylonian, not Sumerian. Xander is all, "Thanks for the non-help. Now go away." Jonathan goes to sit back down next to Andrew, who doesn't get why Jonathan is helping them out. He then tries to enlist Jonathan to lead a revolt against the Scoobs and run away to be "The Duo." He even offers Jonathan the leader role and says that he's very good at taking orders. Jonathan wisely turns him down by throttling him. Xander threatens to stop working on the protection spell unless they start behaving, and Andrew points out that once Willow is done with him, she's going to go after Xander and Anya. Xander doesn't think Willow will stoop to that, but Anya rightly points out that "she tried to use you for a hood ornament, Xander. She doesn't care if you live or die." Xander is all, "I guess you two will finally have something in common." Anya: "I care if you live or die, Xander. I'm just not sure which one I want." Blah blah. Xander is worried that Anya will turn on them when things get ugly later. Anya tells him that she can't "officially" do anything. "You got away with it. I can't hurt you." Xander brings up Anya's polishing of the table with the Spike sex. Anya turns toward him to explain, "That wasn't vengeance. It was solace." Ooh. Looks like D'Hoffryn got Anya a Word-A-Day calendar as a signing bonus.

Back at Rack's lair, Buffy tries to talk Cruella D'Will down from her high. Buffy grabs Dawn and hurls her towards the door, telling Dawn to run away. Willow locks the door with the power of her mind. Buffy: "I know what you want to do, but you have to listen to me. The forces inside you are incredibly powerful. They're strong, but you're stronger." Did you hear that? Willow has forces inside her that are compelling her to do their bidding. Willow takes this opportunity to flap her gums about how much of a "loser" Willow always was. Which, if you take the drug addiction storyline to heart, is a bizarre message, to wit: "If you find yourself being constantly picked on for years at a time, you should become a junkie when you grow up. Drugs make you all-powerful and allow you to try to kill your friends. Best of all, they probably won't even BLAME you for it!" Back to Willow. "The only thing I had going for me. Were the moments, just moments, when Tara would look at me and I was wonderful." Buffy tries to reason with Willow some more, pointing out how much Willow has to lose if she "lets loose with the magicks." Meanwhile, Dawn slowly creeps into frame, for no good reason other than that she has to be there for the next part of the scene. Bad blocking! Bad, bad blocking! No cookie for you! As Willow points out the irony of Buffy being the one to cheerlead about The Deep Meaningfulness Of Life, the background behind them starts to spin, slowly becoming that of Der Zauber Kasten. Buffy and Dawn look disoriented. Willow explains that "the trip can be kinda rough" as Dawn collapses. Huh. So that wasn't teleporting either? Because it didn't look like she was going airborne. Oh well. Just one more crappy little detail in a crappy little episode. Willow turns her attention to Andrew and Jonathan. "You boys like magic, dontcha? Abracadabra," she says as she releases bolts of lightning directly at them.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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