Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Villains

Episode Report Card
Ace: C- | 5 USERS: A+
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Willow needs to spank her inner moppet

All the lights in the room flash, and the machines beep frantically as we see that Willow has entered. She's taken the time to change into all-black clothes, but in a nice touch from Wardrobe, her severe black jacket is one we've seen her wear before. She tells the operating staff to leave. And why not, since all they were doing to help was waving gauze over Buffy's throat? Everyone stares for a second; then the medical staff files out. Buffy's heart-monitor flat-lines, which is the first thing in this scene that makes sense, because it wasn't fuckin' attached to anything in the first place. Or, as the shooting script so kindly explains, because Willow's magical emissions caused it to malfunction. I like my explanation better. Xander hurries in behind Willow and frets that Buffy is going to die, but Willow blandly says she won't. Where's the Willow that Rack said was running on pure fury? I was totally looking forward to her, but instead we got gypped; all we got was Willow running on pure zombie. Willow then performs a little faith healing of her own. I wrote that, and then I guess because I've been thinking about the The X-Files ending Sunday, I thought of the first season The X-Files episode "Miracle Man." Sigh. Back when the The X-Files was still good and I cared enough to watch every week (I haven't actually seen any episodes from Season Seven on, despite it once being my most favorite show; chew on that, Mutant Enemy!) and Scott Bairstow was still cute and I wasn't a jaded bitter broken woman. The bullet levitates out of Buffy's chest. Zombie Willow stares at it and zombies, "It's so small." She closes the bullet in her fist, and when she opens her hand, it's gone. On the table, Buffy stirs and slowly sits up. She's confused as to where she is, and Xander embraces her, telling her she has to stop dying. Buffy stares at black-haired Willow, who smiles and says, "Buffy. Hey." Where's the fury? I want the fury! Willow walks out, droning that it's time to find Warren.

Warren boards a bus for the border.

Xander's little purple car speeds through the desert; Willow is sitting in the back seat, demanding, "Faster!" She then uses magic to slam the accelerator pedal to the floor. Damn, she's like the ultimate nightmare backseat driver. Buffy tells Willow to quit it and starts to bitch her out for going back to using magic. Willow zombies that if she weren't using, Buffy would be dead, but Buffy and Xander aren't persuaded. Buffy says Willow's return to magic use "isn't right," and Xander adds, "You made a decision to stop for a reason. You promised us." Turning around to peer at Willow, he wants to know what the hell's up with her hair too. Willow doesn't have time to share tonsorial tips, though, since I guess she's too busy sensing Warren's essence. She tells Xander to turn the car right, although it will lead them directly into the deserty median strip. Okay, I'll be honest. I think Willow looks really pretty in this scene with the black hair and dark make-up. On my crappy tape, her hair looks almost purple in the sunlight, and I think that would have been a much cooler and less clichéd choice than the black, as well as a shout-out to Sep, who also has purple hair and is slightly evil. Willow uses magic to turn the car across the median, and pulls it up next to the road on the other side. She jumps out and marches into the middle of the road. When Buffy and Xander try to follow, she zaps them so they can't.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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