Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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1880 USERS: B-
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Welcome To The Hellmouth (1)

Buffy is walking down the hall, and Giles calls out behind her, "It's getting worse." He catches up to Buffy and steers her against a wall. He earnestly whispers, "There's a reason why [she's] here and a reason why it's now." Hey, remember when they used to try and be careful of preserving the secrecy of Buffy's identity? Buffy snots, "Because now is when my mom moved here," and tries to take a hike yet again. Giles blocks her path with his arm and says, "Something is going to happen here. Soon." Buffy: "Gee, can you vague that up for me? She dismisses him by saying, "This is Sunnydale. How bad an evil can there be?"

Outside SHS, the camera pans down to show the underground view of the ant farm that is Sunnydale. It's the cavern from Buffy's dream. There's a pit of red Jell-O stuff in the middle, and a whole bunch of candles and various vampires lounging. Luke is chanting, "The Sleeper will wake and the world will bleed. Amen!" Because vampires are such religious creatures. Don't you remember that one heartwarming episode they had when they showed them all going to church? Sure, they wanted to eat the rest of the congregation, but as long as they're worshipping in Glen Oak with the Camdens I really don't have a problem with that.

Buffy is in her room trying to decide on an outfit for the evening. She holds up a black PVC number and says, "Hi, I'm an enormous slut," and then a floral dress and says, "Would you like a copy of the Watchtower?" It's so obvious that SMG is just reciting her lines here instead of playing a character. I wonder if the cast ever watches the first season and laughs at how terrible they all were. Joyce comes in and asks if Buffy is going out. Buffy tells her that she's going to the Bronze, and Joyce asks if there are going to be boys. Buffy quips, "No, mom, it's a nun club." Joyce reminds her daughter to be careful and gives Buffy another pep-talk, trying to empathize with her. She tells Buffy that, in LA, she fell in with a bad crowd, but that's behind them now. Buffy tells her that she's "only going to hang out with the living. I mean lively! Uh, people." You know, she might as well wear a button that says, "Kiss me, I'm a Vampire Slayer," for all her verbal slipups. Joyce tells her to have a good evening and Buffy finishes getting ready.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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