Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Welcome To The Hellmouth (1)

Episode Report Card
12 USERS: B+
Welcome To The Hellmouth (1)

Buffy pushes open the swinging doors of the library and enters. She calls out, "Hello," as creepy music builds in the background. At the counter, a newspaper is open to an article about a missing boy. The camera focuses on the article as a hand taps Buffy on the back. She spins around to see Giles, who asks if he can help her. He introduces himself too, and MAN am I getting tired of all these introductions. I'll sure be glad when all the major players are acquainted with each other. Buffy says that she's the new student, and Giles correctly identifies her. Buffy starts to name off the books that she needs as Giles goes behind the counter and cuts her off because he knows what she's looking for. He takes a large book marked "Vampyr" out and drops it loudly on the counter. Buffy looks upset and tells him that "isn't what [she's] looking for." Giles apologizes, but Buffy is long gone.

Two bratty girls are walking through the girls' locker room and gossiping about Buffy. They're seriously annoying, so I'm glad I won't ever have to see them again. Although the one on the right looks suspiciously like Karen with a K from "Superstar." She opens up her locker, and a large dead boy falls out onto her. She screams.

Outside, Willow is sitting down to lunch. Buffy walks up to her and says hello. Willow wonders if she wants her to move. Buffy sits down next to her and asks if Willow will help her get up to speed with her classes. Willow is very enthusiastic and suggests that they meet in the library. Buffy says that place gives her the "wiggens." Willow says that she understands Buffy's reaction, but she really likes it there because the "new librarian" brought all sorts of interesting books with him. Xander and Jesse arrive on the scene. They probably can't believe their good luck that Buffy is talking with Willow.

Willow introduces Jesse and Xander, but Xander says, "Oh, me and Buffy go way back. Old friends, very close. And then there's that period of estrangement where I think we were both growing as people but now here we are like old times. I'm quite moved." Buffy gives him a strange look, which was my first clue that I didn't like her. I would have totally fallen for a speech like that. Jesse asks if it's "just [him]," or if Xander is "turning into a bibbling idiot." I'll take "bibbling idiot" Xander any day over people who misuse the word "babbling." Anyway, Xander agrees that he is a "bibbling" idiot. He reaches into his backpack to get Buffy's stake and hands it to her, saying, "The only thing I can think is that you're building a really little fence." Buffy tells him that it's for self-defense, and all the people in LA have them because pepper spray is out. That sounds like a load of crap to me, which is to say that it's pretty believable behavior for Southern Californians. Cordelia barges up to talk to Buffy, causing Willow to immediately exclaim that Buffy is not actually hanging out with them. Cordelia doesn't "want to interrupt [Buffy's] downward mobility," but she wanted to tell her that gym class got cancelled because of the "extreme dead guy" found in a locker. Everyone looks upset. Jesse offers Cordelia his shoulder to cry or nibble on, and Cordelia asks him if he has an "elsewhere" to be. Buffy wants to know how the guy died and if he had any marks on him, and Cordelia haughtily sneers, "Morbid much? I didn't ask." Buffy excuses herself, and Cordelia gives her a look.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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