Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Welcome To The Hellmouth (1)

Episode Report Card
12 USERS: B+
Welcome To The Hellmouth (1)

Buffy is walking down the hall, and Giles calls out behind her, "It's getting worse." He catches up to Buffy and steers her against a wall. He earnestly whispers, "There's a reason why [she's] here and a reason why it's now." Hey, remember when they used to try and be careful of preserving the secrecy of Buffy's identity? Buffy snots, "Because now is when my mom moved here," and tries to take a hike yet again. Giles blocks her path with his arm and says, "Something is going to happen here. Soon." Buffy: "Gee, can you vague that up for me? She dismisses him by saying, "This is Sunnydale. How bad an evil can there be?"

Outside SHS, the camera pans down to show the underground view of the ant farm that is Sunnydale. It's the cavern from Buffy's dream. There's a pit of red Jell-O stuff in the middle, and a whole bunch of candles and various vampires lounging. Luke is chanting, "The Sleeper will wake and the world will bleed. Amen!" Because vampires are such religious creatures. Don't you remember that one heartwarming episode they had when they showed them all going to church? Sure, they wanted to eat the rest of the congregation, but as long as they're worshipping in Glen Oak with the Camdens I really don't have a problem with that.

Buffy is in her room trying to decide on an outfit for the evening. She holds up a black PVC number and says, "Hi, I'm an enormous slut," and then a floral dress and says, "Would you like a copy of the Watchtower?" It's so obvious that SMG is just reciting her lines here instead of playing a character. I wonder if the cast ever watches the first season and laughs at how terrible they all were. Joyce comes in and asks if Buffy is going out. Buffy tells her that she's going to the Bronze, and Joyce asks if there are going to be boys. Buffy quips, "No, mom, it's a nun club." Joyce reminds her daughter to be careful and gives Buffy another pep-talk, trying to empathize with her. She tells Buffy that, in LA, she fell in with a bad crowd, but that's behind them now. Buffy tells her that she's "only going to hang out with the living. I mean lively! Uh, people." You know, she might as well wear a button that says, "Kiss me, I'm a Vampire Slayer," for all her verbal slipups. Joyce tells her to have a good evening and Buffy finishes getting ready.

As Buffy, who decided on unflattering high-water pants, tromps down a dark lonely street, a dark figure appears and begins to follow her. Buffy hears footsteps and pauses, but then resumes walking. The figure follows as Buffy enters a dark alley and then stops, looking around her. Buffy's stalker enters the alley, but Buffy is nowhere to be seen. The camera pans up, and we see that she is doing a handstand on a bar spanning the alleyway. As the man walks beneath her, Buffy swings down and kicks him squarely in the back, knocking him down. The man stands, straightening his black velvet smoking jacket, and he and Buffy exchange a little non-witty banter. Buffy keeps a defensive posture as the velvet-clad man sneers he thought she'd be "taller," and then goes on to explain that what he wants, like Buffy, is to "kill 'em all." Buffy snipes that he's incorrect and flounces away, but the man stops her by saying, "You're standing at the mouth of Hell and it's about to open." His white shirt with huge collar points almost distracts me from his amateurish acting, the worst I've seen this side of MTV's Undressed. The mysterious man -- oh, I can't play this silly game like I don't know. It's Angel, looking very callow and speaking with a pronounced lisp, despite the fact that he isn't wearing any plastic vampire teeth and in fact wasn't even scripted as a vampire at this point. He reaches into his coat and tosses Buffy a small box, telling her to be ready for "the Harvest." When Buffy asks the man who he is, he replies he's a friend, but not necessarily hers. After he walks away, Buffy opens the box to reveal a silver crucifix.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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