Buffy the Vampire Slayer
What's My Line?, Part I

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 4 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Eat Your Heart Out, Tonya Harding

Graveyard. Buffy strides through the cemetery as Giles huffs and puffs after her, begging her to slow down. She snits that they have work to do. He wheezes that she's behaving immaturely, but she points out that she's a teen, and has yet to mature. There's no winning an argument with a sixteen-year-old girl. Unless you're Sars's mom, from what I hear. ["Seriously. I'm still only batting around .150 lifetime." -- Sars] Giles tries to sell that he was only offering constructive criticism, but Buffy isn't buying, saying that he was harsh, and it's not like she picked this "gig." Blah blah blah sacred-duty-cakes. He tells her that she might be able to get a real job eventually, just as he did, but she points out that the jobs of Watcher and librarian are basically kissing cousins. He concedes the point, but then brightly asks if she's ever considered law enforcement. Buffy looks at him like he just outlawed leather. She then gestures that they're at the desired mausoleum, which they enter. Giles examines the violated area, saying that it's a reliquary, meaning it's used to house items of religious significance, "most commonly a finger or some other body part from a saint." Buffy: "Note to self: religion freaky." Sing it, sister. Giles sees the name "du Lac" engraved on a wall, and gets wigged. He explains that Josephus du Lac was a member of a religious sect that was excommunicated by the Vatican at the turn of the century, and that he wrote the book that the vamp stole in "Lie To Me." The book apparently contained rituals and spells of "unspeakable evil," but was written in archaic Latin, so only the sect members could understand it. Buffy's all, case closed, but Giles isn't convinced, saying that something's coming, "and whatever it is, it's not good." Meta commentary on Marti Noxon joining the writing staff?

Bus depot. A bus arrives from Los Angeles. The doors open, and we see feet walking down the steps. A particularly large set of feet hits the ground, accompanied by ominous music, and the camera pans up to show a large biker-type dude with long hair and one eye gouged out. Cut to Buffy's street. A geeky insurance-salesman type complete with glasses, trenchcoat, and briefcase pauses at Buffy's house, then goes on to the next one and knocks on the door. A middle-aged, world-weary-looking woman answers. The man introduces himself as "Norman Pfister," and says that he's pleased to offer her the chance to try a few free cosmetics samples. She invites him in, and closes the door. A few seconds later, we hear a scream. I guess this cosmetics company didn't engage in animal testing.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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