Buffy the Vampire Slayer
What's My Line?, Part I

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 4 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Eat Your Heart Out, Tonya Harding

Stock footage of an airplane. That was really necessary. At the airport, a dude opens a plane's cargo hold. Looking to his left, he sees something which makes him suspect that someone is lurking. What that something is, I have no idea. He asks who's there, and goes to investigate, but quickly gets the crap beaten out of him by an unseen assailant. They had to pay this actor speaking-line rates for that? Sheesh. The assailant stealths to the door, and we see that it's Bianca Lawson, looking very pretty in hoop earrings, a choker, a midriff-baring brown top, and shiny maroon pants. She exits the plane.

Library. Willow is asking Buffy if Giles is sure that the vamp that stole the book is connected to the one she slayed the night before, then wonders if "slew" is the right past tense. Giles cuts in that both are correct, and that he is in fact sure about the connection. While enduring an unamusing interjection from Xander, Giles manages to explain that du Lac invented a cross that could be used to decipher mystical texts. Buffy dumbs down the explanation: the vamps went to a lot of trouble to obtain a basic decoder ring. Willow, reading a text on du Lac that Giles dug up, says that he destroyed all the crosses except the one buried with him. Buffy wonders why, and Giles speculates that he feared what would happen if one of the crosses fell into the wrong hands. And of course, no one would think to look for the last cross in a mausoleum inscribed with his frickin' name. Giles goes on that they must learn what was in the book before their enemies do, which seems a bit silly, since the enemies have the book and the cross, but whatever. Willow's psyched for a research party. Xander tells her she needs a life, and let's just say I'm glad to be living in a country in which health care is free, because I scoffed hard enough at that comment to cause internal bleeding. I mean, fruit flies have more of a life than Xander. Buffy begs off, saying she's no good at research, and I can't believe that's not screaming, "She has a date!" to Giles, but again, whatever. After a bit of protesting, Giles agrees that she should get some rest. Xander wants Buffy to stay so she can get snacks, but Buffy's all, sorry, Zeppo-boy -- I've gotta be somewhere.

Ice rink. Buffy skates. I sigh contentedly, as there's very little to recap. She skates and skates, and SMG clearly has spent a little time on skates before. Eventually, she passes the door, which opens slightly to reveal the one-eyed assassin. Does that mean I have to start working again? I think I'll Dawn about it for a while.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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