Buffy the Vampire Slayer
What's My Line?, Part I

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 4 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Eat Your Heart Out, Tonya Harding

Buffy skates some more, then comes in for a landing. For some reason, she chooses to slide in on her butt. She laughs, but loses her good humor when One-Eye's arm grabs her, lifts her over the wall, and starts choking her. Angel, in game face, rushes him. Buffy disappears as Angel and One-Eye slug it out. One-Eye grabs Angel by the throat, and I wonder what his deal is, because he looks human. Fugly, but human. However, Buffy interrupts my musings by skating up, grabbing some netting, and burying a skate in One-Eye's throat. He collapses, surprisingly refraining from croaking, "Why? Why?" We cut to his tarot card, which Dru turns over, saying that he's "passing." And bleeding. Spike's unconcerned, saying that they're close to decoding the manuscript, and that they just need a bit more time. Dru loons that time is on their side, as it brings the Slayer closer to "them," looking at the two remaining cards. I hope they have the sense not to attack her while she's wearing deadly weapons on her feet. Back at the rink, Angel finds a ring engraved with some symbol on the dead guy's finger, and asks Buffy if she knows what it means. Buffy: "I just killed a Super Bowl champ?" I thought I recognized him from the '86 Bears "Super Bowl Shuffle" video. Angel says he's serious, and that she should go home until he hears from her. Still in game face, he lispingly inquires if she's okay, but she's more concerned about the gash on his forehead. He says not to worry about it, and that they should get her someplace safe, but Buffy wants to attend to his eye. He flinches, and she thinks he's being a baby, but he clarifies that he just doesn't want her to touch him when he's in game face. Buffy takes off her glove and caresses his face. "I didn't even notice." Aww. SMACK! They mack. I hope she's not using tongue -- those fangs look sharp. Across the rink, Bianca appears, and observes the slobbery with distaste. Well, no need to slap her, at least.

Library. Giles examines the ring. Buffy tells him that the assassin was hardcore, and Angel was "power-freaked" by the ring. One ring to rule them all. One ring to find them. Whoa, sorry. ["You know, in order to crack on Xander for dorking out..." -- Sars] Giles says that Angel's reaction was appropriate, as the ring is only worn by members of The Order Of Taraka, an ancient society of assassins. Xander: the usual level of annoying statement. Giles snaps at him that it's not the time for jokes, especially lame ones. I may have added that bit at the end. Buffy wonders why they'd be after her, but Willow points out that she's the "scourge of the underworld," which lends credence to my earlier question about why no vamp or demon had thought of hiring the Order to take out a Slayer before. Giles says that he thinks the best plan is for Buffy to hide in a secure location until they come up with a plan. Buffy's chagrined that Giles thinks she can't fight the assassins, but he tells her that no matter how many of them she kills, they will keep coming until she's dead. Buffy looks like she's going to cry, and I'm again in awe of how much growing up she's had to do in the space of a few short episodes. Giles goes on that each assassin acts individually, and some are human, but some are not. He continues in voice-over as we see Norman Pfister watching the Summers home from the world-weary woman's house. A lot of larvae are on the floor. Giles continues that she won't know who they are until they strike. A bunch of larvae coalesce on Norman's stump of an arm and form into a hand, with the aid of the fakest-looking effects imaginable. Dr. Who had better production values. Norman uses the reformed hand to pick up a cup of tea, or coffee, or whatever it is giant larvae people drink.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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