Buffy the Vampire Slayer
What's My Line?, Part II

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: B
Bad Daddies And Bondage Fun

Well, that explains a lot. I'm definitely instituting a handshake policy with all personified literary devices with whom I hang out in the future. And I think that would be a good policy for ME to establish among its staff -- I'd be willing to bet no one's touched Joss in quite some time. Not to mention Rebecca Rand Kirshner. I really wasn't planning to depart into full-scale bitterness here, but I rarely get such a clear shot at the current season, so why the hell not? I mean, this once was my favorite show. I actually used to get excited in the hour or so leading up to eight o'clock on Tuesdays. But now, all I can say is that what I considered to be one of the smartest and most well-written shows on television is now an unrecognizable steaming heap of dreck that makes me almost catatonically utter "a wizard did it" about twenty times an episode just to make sense of the plot developments while shivering from the copious amounts of liquid that flew out of the TV when the Buffy shark hit the water after its quadruple twisting flip of Dawn, magic addiction, Slayers in training (to mangle the Slayer mythology almost as much as they mangle their accents), and Spike: 100% less snark, 100% fewer clothes!

Whew. Never did a run-on sentence feel so cathartic. And if that rant doesn't get me scads of hate mail, I don't know what will.

Back to the recap. Giles says he's flummoxed. Buffy thinks the solution is obvious: Kendra goes home. Kendra demurs, however, saying that her Watcher told her "all de signs indicate dat a very dark power's a-boat to rise in Sunnydale." Well, if by "dark," you mean "cartoonish and silly." And since Marti wrote this episode, and we all know that that's exactly how she defines "dark," it all fits! Buffy snottily asks if Kendra's just going to go around attacking people randomly. Upon hearing a negative, she asks why Kendra attacked her. Kendra says she thought Buffy was a vampire, and the fact that Buffy, a sixteen-year-old girl, was asleep in an apartment with no mirrors in it at all kind of lets you see where she's coming from. Buffy snits. Kendra, unfazed, says that she had good reason to think Buffy and sunlight were two great tastes that taste burnt together, as she saw her kissing a vampire. Willow blurts that Buffy would never do that, but at Buffy's "Ride On The Clue Train" look, corrects herself that Buffy only does that with Angel. Buffy's cross is prominently displayed around her neck, and it suddenly occurs to me that catching sight of it could be the reason that Kendra backed off the fight in Angel's apartment. That makes me happy -- I'd never really successfully fanwanked that before. Buffy explains that Kendra saw her with Angel, and that he's good. Good? Good-looking, I'll give you. Actor? Not so much. Kendra ominously refers to him as "Angelus," and says that she's read about him, and he's a monster. Giles and Willow stick up for Angel, but Kendra, either having seen engravings of him, having overheard his name before she attacked him, or both, says, "He looked to me just like another animal when I..." Buffy: "What did you do?"

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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