Downstairs, the spin-the-bottle game is still in progress. Xander tries to tell them that Julie is having a hard time, but the bottlers don't really listen and just continue to giggle at their game. Willow races down the stairs, calling for Tara, and finds Xander. She explains about the ghost boy in the tub and how she tried to save him. Xander exclaims, "Is every frat on this campus haunted? And if so, why do people keep coming to these parties? 'Cause it's not the snacks." Tara finds them and looks apologetically at Willow, saying that she thinks they should leave the house. The spin-the-bottlers shout happily but the bottle they are playing with starts to spin more and more quickly until it explodes into shards. The players clutch their eyes and run away screaming. Willow, Tara, and Xander decide they need Buffy and race up the stairs to Riley's room. As they pound on the door and shout, giant rubber Alaska King Crab legs poke out from under the door and wave about in a silly manner. Oh, my bad, I guess those are supposed to be vines. We are treated to a ceiling-cam shot of Buffy and Riley, frantically kissing in bed. The camera pulls up and up and up, until the bed is just a tiny square of blue adrift in a black background. The World's Smallest Porn Set, as one of Sep's friends observed. At one point, as Sars pointed out on the boards, Marc Blucas does indeed start to stick his hand between Sarah Michelle Gellar's legs (outside the sheets), but then thinks better of it and awkwardly moves his hand up to her back.
I hate those Church's Chicken ads. If the wives are such bad cooks, why don't the husbands just make their own freaking dinner?
We're back to the World's Smallest Porn Set. Willow, Xander, and Tara are outside banging on the door, trying to get Buffy and Riley's attention. The boinkers don't respond, and the thorny branches continue to grow out from under the door. Tara walks over to the railing and observes the party below as a giant earthquake hits. Spike, sitting in his chair with his beer, gets a little smirk on his face until suddenly his chair grows straps, all the better to hold him down with. Various shots of milling panicky people, and the camera comes to rest on Graham, the giant cleft chin that emotes like a two-by-four. Forrest in his orange turtleneck (ew) rushes up to Graham and tells him that they've got to help get everyone out alive. Graham just starts babbling some crap about being "unclean" and "impure." Forrest largely ignores him and then right in front of the throng of people he activates the secret elevator down to the lab. Don't they have stairs? Hasn't anyone ever taught them not to take an elevator in an earthquake?