Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Where The Wild Things Are

Episode Report Card
Ace: D | 4 USERS: D
Where The Wild Things Are

Back inside Lowell House, there is disembodied screaming and the vines have grown to cover the entire part of the hallway near Riley's room. I'm content to stay outside, but the camera doesn't oblige me and I'm (mis)treated to the sounds of a gasping Buffy demanding that Commander Pomme de Terre keep touching her.

The gang has assembled at Fort Giles; Giles is questioning them trying to figure out why Buffy and Riley didn't respond to their knocks and shouts. Anya suggests that they were dead but Xander thinks they were "too busy doing it." Giles doesn't get the reference immediately and Xander quips, "For a god of acoustic rock, you're kind of naive." "In the midst of all that do you really think they were keeping it up?" Giles replies. He pauses for beat and then moans, "Oh, for a different phrasing." Willow explains that everyone at the party was acting odd in a sexual way. Giles asks her to clarify, but she's uncomfortable and just says, "You know. Ways." Giles suggests it's a succubi (again I question your word choice, Giles) or a satyr's prank. Willow has been thumbing through a book of newspaper clippings and has discovered that Lowell House used to be a home for wayward children. Tara haltingly asks if any of the children died there. Willow tells them that the article doesn't mention it and is about the home's director, Genevieve Holt. Giles asked when she died and Willow says that she's still alive. It must have been a very recent article to have that information in it.

Genevieve, an unassuming senior in her bathrobe, shows the gang (minus Willow and Tara) to her sitting room, assuring Giles that she was up praying. Giles questions her about any "disturbances" in the house when she lived there. Genevieve says that it sounds like "crazy talk." Anyway, as you probably figured out as soon as you saw her, the transformation from kindly maternal figure to creepy religious wacko is swift. The gang learns that Genevieve would cut off the girls' hair to release them from vanity and would "baptize" (read "drown") the worst offenders in the tub. Giles leaps to his feet to deliver a rousing chastisement but Genevieve just waves his concerns away, saying that she "refuse[s] to listen to this when [she] can smell the sin on each and every one of you." "Yeah," snaps Xander, "she who smelt it dealt it!" At Giles's confused look, Xander explains, "It's like what you said, but faster." As they're leaving Xander remarks to Anya that "this totally adds to my 'old people are crazy' theorem." Giles says that they're dealing with "apparitions," not ghosts, which is odd because I thought he said they were the same thing in the second-season episode, "I Only Have Eyes for You." Anyway, they decide that Riley and Buffy released the poltergeists because of all the sex they're having, and Xander uses the word "poltergasm." Ew. Giles says that Buffy and Riley are in danger because they can't stop having sex and when their energy runs out they'll die. I'm okay with that. I mean, sure, I'd miss Buffy a bit, but she's not my favorite character, and look on the bright side -- Riley would be history and we can change the name of the show to Faith, the Vampire Slayer. Who wouldn't enjoy that?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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