Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: C- | 1172 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Baby Baby Oh Baby

Looks like Buffy decided to let Dawn go. She's walking down the street, now wearing a jacket but still with no overnight bag or even one of those cute little sleeping bags you can buy kids for sleepovers. I still have mine -- it's all soft and cottony and yellow with tiny flowers. I've been refraining from commenting on the clothes in this episode (my patented Clothes Insult Generator is in the shop), but I sure don't like Dawn's boots. They're knee-high and all loose around the top. Anyway, Dawn gets a sneaky smile and takes a detour down an alley. She hears scary noises, but then runs into her friend. They establish that they've tricked their respective guardians; each parental type thinks their hormonal little darling is staying at the other girl's house. Bored now. I hope something awful happens to Dawn because she, of all people, should know better than to pull a stunt like this. And unlike teen Buffy, Dawn can't even protect herself. Dawn and her large-foreheaded friend vamp around 'cause they think they're so bad-ass, and I weep with not caring.

At the park (oh, racy) Dawn and Janice McForehead meet up with a couple choady high school boys named Zack and Mike, or something. Forehead is already friendly with Zack, and apparently Dawn and Mike have seen each other around. Mike, or Tad, or whatever his name is, has on a Sunnydale High letterman's jacket, which briefly makes me ponder whether Sunnydale High was closed down or relocated when Buffy blew it up. There's lots of eyebrow flicking before the kids head off for a naughty night of, well, egging houses and letting air out of tires. Dawn is too old to dress up but she thinks this eleven-year-old crap is cool? Hormones really fuck you up. It's sad. Oh no! It looks like Zack tried to de-pants Forehead! Her jeans are all squished down low around her hips in danger of showing pubes. If I were her, I'd be a little more pissed off...or wait. I guess she's just sporting those super-low-rise pants so fashionable with the kids today. Yuck. Neither flattering nor appropriate for a high school freshman. Giggle giggle. Dawn likes Tad, or Chip, or whatever. Chip likes Dawn too. Oh, write it on your frickin' Peechee notebook and spare me the tepid teen romance because I DON'T FREAKIN CARE! Doesn't this show ever have commercial breaks anymore? Forehead is bored like me, and then the lamest juvies in the world spot the house of the creepy, humming man we saw earlier.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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