Riley enters a crypt and pokes around. It's a fairly nice place as crypts go, with lit candles all around, so I'm not much surprised to see Spike emerge from the shadows and greet Riley. Riley gestures at the cross-bow Spike is holding and tells him to put it down unless he wants to get one hell of a headache, referring of course to the chip in Spike's head (we think) that prevents him from inflicting violence on "any living thing." Spike lays the weapon down and saunters up to Riley, hooking his fingers in his belt (imagine a melty sigh from your recapper at this point) and bragging that he's got "quite a few demons" after him. Riley, the big bore, just wants information and asks Spike about Dracula. "Hmph, Dracula?" laughs Spike. "Poncy bugger owes me eleven pounds, for one thing." As he lights a ciggie, Spike explains that he and Drac were rivals before Drac got famous and "forgot all about his foes." Spike flops down in a chair, complaining about Dracula's "glory hound" routine damaging vampires by letting people know how to kill them. When Riley asks about Drac's special powers, Spike dismisses them as "nothing but showy gypsy stuff," which I suspect is a bit of bluster, because wouldn't all vamps do those things if they are that easy? Riley tells Spike that Dracula is in Sunnydale, and Spike assumes the Dark Ponce is there to see him until Riley disabuses him of that notion by saying that Drac is actually "gunning" for Buffy. Spike tries to persuade Riley that he won't find Dracula easily because he has to have "his luxury estate and his bug eaters and his special dirt." Spike tells Riley to just go home to his "super-honey," which riles Riley, who threatens Spike by telling him he would have no problem staking him even though Buffy might. Spike approaches and growls, "I'd like to see you try!" Riley rises to his full height and replies, "Would you?" They mad-dog each other until Spike recalls his impotence and turns his head aside. Aw, poor Spikey. Riley leaves, and Spike calls after him that he'll never find Dracula before he gets to Buffy.
The Summers homestead. Buffy sleeps alone in her bed, so I guess Riley has a place of his own. Don't you wish he'd stay there all the time? Dracula-fog pours in through the slightly open window and a rushing windy noise wakes Buffy up. The Dork Prince, who has gone extra-heavy on the under-cheekbone charcoal, stands at the end of the bed and intones, "You are magnificent." Hey, how'd he get in the house without an invitation anyway? That's gonna bug me for this whole scene, I can tell. The Count, who is wearing so much make-up I think I have to start calling him Spackula, tells Buffy she is "kindred," then demands that she pull her hair back. Buffy obeys him and dreamily says, "This isn't how I usually fight." Spackula, who always wears a super-annoying slack-jawed look, makes a little moue of pleasure at the sight of Buffy's neck. She attempts to protest his entrance with "music-video wind and hypo-eyes" but falters at his seductive stare. Or that's how I'm sure the script read, anyway. In his best Transylvanian accent, Spacky lisps that he has searched and yearned for her, and he sits on the bed, touching her neck. He sees the scar left by Angel and says whoever left it was "unworthy" because he let Buffy go. Spackula continues to get all up in Buffy's face, and with vampires I always wonder about blood-breath, although I guess you're assured they won't have garlic breath. Spacky is obviously moving in to bite Buffy and I'm on the edge of my seat, wondering if he'll deliver the classic line: "I vant to suck your bloooohd." He tells her not to fight and bites in; Buffy makes a pained face and moans as we fade to commercial.