Willow enters a backstage area. People are milling about in all kinds of costumes and we can hear an orchestra warming up somewhere. Willow looks apprehensive and very confused. Suddenly Harmony rushes up, dressed in a milkmaid's outfit with her hair in braids, and hugs Willow excitedly. She perks on about being in their first production and then warns Willow, "Don't step on my cues." Willow stares at her in shock. Buffy then rushes up to Willow, decked out in a black bobbed wig, heavy eye makeup, and a flapper dress. She grabs Willow, saying that Willow's whole family is in the first row and "they look really angry." Willow is disconcerted, surprised that there's a production, and she asks, "Isn't this the first class?" Up tromps Riley, in ten-gallon hat, neckerchief, and old-timey western shirt, saying that Willow showed up too late to get a good part. Quite unnecessarily he adds, "I'm Cowboy Guy." He seems so proud, poor man. Buffy tells Willow in hushed tones that her costume is perfect and that "nobody will know." "Costume!?" asks Willow, who is wearing a regular season-four Willow outfit of a yellow t-shit and maxi skirt. Buffy thinks Willow is already "in character" and flounces away sulking. Willow tries to reason with her dream, saying that she was "given to understand" that the drama class would have class sessions and rehearsals. Harmony smugs that some people already rehearsed, and Riley again doofs his "Cowboy Guy" line. Somebody get this guy a role on Baywatch: Hawaii, please? It would be a good place for him -- he could show off his (c)hunky chest and not worry about being out-acted by a five-month-old kitten. We hear Giles clapping for attention; he gathers everyone around and, in a very effete version of his usual accent, begins to give them an opening-night pep talk about energy and staying in character. As he talks, Willow again sees the indistinct figure, this time moving behind some furniture. She hushedly wonders whether anyone else saw, but Giles is continuing his pep talk with, "The audience wants to find you, strip you naked and eat you alive. So hide." That sounds like a joke, ha ha, but actually sums up all too well how I felt during my year as a junior-high-school teacher. He continues his talk and Harmony, vamped out, keeps popping up behind him and mock-biting his neck. Giles flicks at her, telling her that she's being annoying and must stop. He finally reveals that the production will be "Death of a Salesman" and gives the traditional theater conclusion, "Break a leg." The crowd of costumed actors mills about as Willow just stands, looking appalled. The sound diminishes and Willow turns slowly. In the corner she sees a little bald man in glasses and a tweedy suit. He conspiratorially tells her, "I've made a little space for the cheese slices," and gestures towards a number of processed cheese slices lined up on a small table. Willow closes her eyes and then parts the red stage curtains.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Episode Report CardAce: D | 1631 USERS: B
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer