I pause the tape here to spend a full ten minutes breathing deeply into a brown paper bag, and then I gobble a handful of Dramamine.
A nighttime shot of the graveyard fades into daylight and we see Willow bounding down the crypt stairs, carrying a thermos and a paper sack. Oh god, what a nightmare. The upcoming scene is going to be unbearable, and was my greatest fear when dating my straying musician. I used to walk around corners at parties with great trepidation, because around every turn and behind every closed door I expected to see him in the arms of someone else. Willow's happy face slowly falls as she sees Oz and Veruca sleeping, naked and entwined together. She drops the food she brought and stares in horror.
I'll tell you kids, I've lived this next scene. Not in the details, but at the basic emotional level, I've been there. And to watch and re-watch it in order to transcribe it will be difficult. Well, please ignore my sniveling as I get back to the recapping. Willow continues to stare in disbelief and horror as Oz and Veruca stir. Oz spots Willow and says her name and then pulls on his pants. Willow moans, "Oh my God . . . oh my God," as Oz unlocks the cage and says, "I know what you saw. It wasn't -- I had to. I had to lock her in here with me." Liar. He approaches Willow desperately and behind him Veruca also exits the cage, still naked. Put some clothes on, bitch! Oz tells Willow that Veruca is a wolf too, and as Willow bitterly says, "Well, I knew you two had a lot in common," he reaches out to take her hand. "Don't touch me," she explodes and backs away. Alyson Hannigan has the perfect expression here, the distressed/anguished/queasy look of a woman betrayed. Oz claims that Veruca was a danger and he "didn't have a choice." Big fat liar! Willow contradicts him -- he could have shared the information with someone. Instead, his solution was to lock the two of them together in a cage? Good point, Will. "Girl's got a point," says Veruca, putting on her leather jacket, and I yell at her to shut up, because I already said that. Oz tells Veruca to leave and then shouts, "Now!" Seth Green looks like he's been working out and is quite delicious with his bare chest and cargo pants. He tells Willow he's sorry and she says, "I knew. I knew, you jerk. And you sat there and you told me everything was fine?" That could be a direct quote from one of my many post-break-up fights with my cheating ex. This scene is pulling my heart out. "I know how it feels. I remember," says Oz, and Willow quite rightly gets angry. She tells him she thought the incident with Xander was in the past and that anyway, it doesn't compare to what Oz has done with Veruca. Oz tells Willow that he doesn't know what Veruca and he have done, that the wolf took over. "But before this, when you were regular Oz," cries Willow, "you had feelings for her, didn't you?" Oz disagrees, but Willow pushes on, asking if he wanted Veruca in an "animal way. More than you wanted me?" Those are not questions to ask, sister. Oz just stares at her in great pain and after a long pause she runs out of the crypt and stumbles off through the graveyard.