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A Bunch of Idiots
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Manono. Night 8. The men are returning from Tribal Council. Michael laments that they got rid of Matt, and he thinks it's a case of the weak guys trying to get rid of the stronger guys, but he thinks it will backfire because they will start losing challenges. He could be right. Then again, if their weakest guys are stronger than the strongest women, they're fine. Tarzan and Troy have a quick sidebar where they discuss how they think they can let Michael float for a while, because he's so inconsequential.

Tarzan interviews that his alliance is solid, and reviews that his alliance is Troy, Jonas, Colton, Leif, and him. Hey, did you guys know that Leif sleeps in the box they won in the knotted rope challenge? Seriously. There's a shot of him getting into the box and putting the lid on, like a tiny coffin. It's simultaneously creepy and awesome. I would bet it's pretty quiet in there, and the lid contains his body heat and keeps out rain. I couldn't do it due to claustrophobia issues, but more power to him. Anyway, Tarzan and Troy agree that Bill needs to be the next to go, because he's the most likely to pull people away from their alliance with his charm and "beguiling character." Really? Him? Then again, if your competition in the charm parade consists of Garbage Person Colton and Blahsicle Michael, I guess Bill would win.

The next morning at Salani, Monica and Chelsea are taking snails out of their shells to eat. Monica interviews that the women are having a turnaround, and they're eating well between snails, coconuts, and rice. Don't they have fishing equipment? Why aren't they eating fish? I don't understand. Jonas and Troy come over to the women's camp and make small talk about snails before Jonas lays out his proposal: being from Hawaii, he knows how to use fishing nets, and the women don't. So he will use the net and catch a ton of fish, and the women get to keep half of the haul. Chelsea interviews that she finds it hilarious that the tables have completely turned. Chelsea tells Jonas that she might sound like "a cold-hearted bitch" but she can't feed the enemy. Interesting how Sabrina is supposed to be the team leader but Chelsea seems to be calling the shots here.

At first, I thought the women were making a mistake here, because half the fish is better than the zero fish they have now. But if what Monica said is true, and they're doing fine without fish, then it makes a little more sense to have zero fish as long as the men also have zero fish. Jonas claims he doesn't care either way, because they're totally fine without fish. Well, if that's true, then why is he making this offer at all? Out of the goodness of his heart? I doubt it. Kim points out that Jonas obviously does care. Troy loses the tiny amount of goodwill he had built up with me when he basically interviews, "Them bitches be crazy! Because bitches be crazy, amirite? LOL." He blames the women's no vote on their hormones and whatnot. Ugh. Troy interviews that the women can do nothing and get free food, so he doesn't see the problem. He's kind of leaving out the part where the men get half of the food, which is more than they would have otherwise. I mean, if they were going to use the net and give the women ALL of the fish, that's a no-brainer.

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