Michelle: "Comes in a pretty little shiny bottle that if I pulled it out would say to the zombie apocalypse mugger, Don't be afraid of my pretty shiny bottle. It won't do anything ... but blind you!"

And yes, this is just the same Bunheads problem in a new, ever-evolving form -- bullshit you have a burner phone in there, give me a break -- but just as with the other stuff, it just somehow works.

Maybe the show finally made me crazy, I don't know. There'd be no way for me to know that.

Fanny flees the nonstop crazy banter, and just as she's making the announcement, fifteen minutes to curtain, Michelle pulls her up short.

Michelle: "Fanny? The show's going to be great."

Fanny grins cutely, nearly blows her a kiss, and sets off into the house.

Ginny & Melanie: Are bitches to each other.
Sasha & Ringer: Are bitches to each other.
Ginny & Melanie: Are bitches to each other.
Everybody: Mentions the A/C a few more times.

Ginny: "Who are you to talk about dating? Who have you ever dated, except your cousin?"
Melanie: "He wasn't my cousin! I only called his mom aunt because we're close!"

Michelle breaks 'em up, but thankfully not before that last little bit. Just great stuff.

THE SHOW

Herr Drosselmeyer Fanny comes out, whipping her purple-lined cape around and being amazing in everybody's face, then the incroyables and merveilleuses, and finally Clara -- thankfully, it's Sasha -- and they start the story in earnest. Were you really wondering how much of this shit they would actually put onscreen? Just enough that it's fun.

Inside, everybody's hot, so Michelle runs down the line of dancers to cool them down... with the Pretty Mace. And then also herself. Everybody screams and freaks --

Boo: "My eyes are melting!"

-- but because Sasha is magnificent, she drags everybody back out on the floor, blind. What follows is a horror, ballerinas running into walls, writhing, tripping over each other, backstage and onstage both... Michelle calling out for Sasha ("Marco? Polo!") and finally the Ringer, taking Sasha's place onstage among the shrieking, choking, sobbing, vomiting, blind and wretched human wreckage, dances all alone. Even as the ambulances arrive, and the parents call for backup, and the building is evacuated, the Ringer continues to dance, and dance, and dance.